Book Club Questions for Disciplines of a Godly Man

1.Hughes opens by pointing to the athletic metaphor in 1 Timothy 4:7 — "train yourself to be godly." What does the word "train" (Greek: gymnazō) imply about the nature of spiritual growth that the word "try" does not?

2.Hughes argues that no man becomes godly by accident, just as no man becomes a great musician, athlete, or businessman by accident. Does this resonate with your experience of the Christian life so far — or have you been operating under the assumption that growth will simply "happen"?

3.The introduction makes a distinction between disciplines that are an end in themselves and disciplines that are a means to an end (godliness). Why does this distinction matter? What goes wrong when spiritual practices become the goal rather than the gateway?

1.Hughes references Job's covenant with his eyes (Job 31:1) as a model for proactive purity. What does it mean to make a "covenant" with your eyes rather than simply trying harder in the moment of temptation? What is the practical difference?

2.Hughes is frank about the pervasiveness of sexual imagery in contemporary culture and how it shapes a man's interior life without his even noticing. Where do you see this shaping happening in your own daily environment — and have you taken it seriously enough?

3.Hughes describes how impurity is not just a physical act but begins with the imagination and the thought life. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 that lust in the heart is adultery. How does locating the sin in the heart — rather than just in behavior — change the way we fight it?

1.Hughes frames a husband's love for his wife through the lens of Ephesians 5 — a self-giving, sacrificial love modeled on Christ's love for the Church. In what ways does this standard feel impossibly high, and in what ways does it feel genuinely motivating?

2.The chapter emphasizes that a godly husband must understand his wife — Peter's command to live with your wife "according to knowledge" (1 Peter 3:7, KJV). Hughes suggests many husbands stopped learning about their wives years ago. What is one thing you could do this week to deepen your understanding of your wife?

3.Hughes talks about the importance of a husband protecting and honoring his wife — treating her, as Peter says, as "a weaker vessel" (not inferior, but to be cherished). How does the culture around you push back against this posture, and how have you felt that pressure in your own marriage?

1.Hughes opens with the sobering reality that many men are physically present in their homes but emotionally and spiritually absent. What distinguishes a father who is merely *there* from one who is genuinely *engaged*?

2.Ephesians 6:4 commands fathers not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up in the "discipline and instruction of the Lord." Hughes points out that both over-harshness and passivity violate this verse. Which temptation is stronger for you — and why?

3.Hughes draws on Deuteronomy 6 to argue that the primary venue for passing on faith is not Sunday school or youth group — it is the ordinary, daily life of the home ("when you sit, walk, lie down, rise up"). What does intentional, everyday faith-transmission look like in practical terms for a family like yours?

1.Hughes notes that many men have acquaintances but very few — sometimes zero — genuine friends. Is that true of you? When was the last time another man truly knew what was going on inside your soul?

2.The friendship of David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18) is Hughes's primary biblical model. What specific qualities of their friendship stand out to you — and which of those qualities is most foreign to your own male relationships?

3.Hughes cites Proverbs 27:17 — "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." This implies friction, pressure, and occasionally pain. Do your friendships actually include honest challenge and correction, or do they stay safely comfortable?

1.Hughes argues that the Christian mind does not develop automatically — it must be cultivated. What does it mean to be "transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2) in practice? How is this different from just "reading more"?

2.Hughes makes the case for serious, sustained reading as a foundational discipline for the mind. What is your current reading life like — and what does it reflect about your priorities?

3.Philippians 4:8 gives a positive list of what the mind should dwell on: things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable. As an audit of your mental diet — the media, conversations, and content you consume most — how well does your input match Paul's list?

1.Hughes points to Jesus himself as the primary model of devotional discipline — a man who, despite the demands of ministry, consistently withdrew to pray (Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16). What does it say about the priority of devotion that *Jesus* needed this time — and what does it say about us when we skip it?

2.Hughes talks about the devotional life as a meeting, not just a routine — an actual encounter with a living God rather than a spiritual chore to check off. What has your devotional time *felt* like recently — a meeting or a chore? What factors contribute to which it becomes?

3.Psalm 63:1 describes David's thirst for God — an urgent, almost physical longing. Does that describe your desire for God right now? If not, how do you respond when your heart is dry — do you keep showing up, or do you wait until you feel it?

1.Hughes observes that prayer is the discipline most Christians feel guiltiest about and least satisfied with. Does that describe you? Why do you think prayer is so persistently difficult — even for men who are otherwise serious about their faith?

2.The disciples' request, "Lord, teach us to pray" (Luke 11:1), implies that prayer is a skill that must be learned rather than an instinct that comes naturally. What does it look like to approach prayer as a learner — someone who has room to grow — rather than as someone who already knows how?

3.Hughes emphasizes praying with specific, named requests rather than vague, general prayers. He suggests this requires faith — you have to actually believe God can and will act. Review your recent prayers: have they been specific enough to know definitively whether they were answered?

1.Hughes argues that a godly man makes corporate worship a non-negotiable priority — not attending when convenient but showing up as an act of covenant faithfulness. How have you thought about church attendance — as a priority or as one option among many?

2.Jesus tells the woman at the well that the Father seeks worshipers who worship "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:23). Hughes unpacks both dimensions. What does it mean to worship in spirit (genuinely, from the heart) — and what does it mean to worship in truth (accurately, shaped by correct understanding of God)?

3.Hughes challenges the consumer posture many men bring to worship — evaluating the music, the sermon, and the experience as though they were reviewing a product. Have you noticed this posture in yourself? What would it take to replace it with a posture of offering?

1.Hughes defines integrity as wholeness — the word comes from the same root as "integer," a whole number. What does it mean for a man to be "whole" — undivided between his public and private selves? Where do you experience the most division?

2.Psalm 15 describes the man who is welcome in God's presence as someone who "swears to his own hurt and does not change" — a man who keeps promises even when it costs him. Can you think of a recent situation where keeping your word would have cost you something? What did you do?

3.Hughes points to the workplace as one of the primary testing grounds for integrity — expense reports, how you treat subordinates, what you say about competitors, how you spend company time. How well does your professional conduct align with your stated Christian convictions?

1.James famously compares the tongue to a ship's rudder — a small thing that steers an enormous vessel (James 3:4). Hughes applies this to a man's life: the way you speak determines far more about the direction of your relationships and leadership than you might realize. Do you believe that? What evidence do you see of it in your own life?

2.Hughes identifies several specific speech patterns that undermine godliness: gossip, slander, coarse joking, empty flattery, and careless vows. Which of these is the most persistent temptation for you — and in what contexts does it most frequently appear?

3.Ephesians 4:29 sets the standard: let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good for building up. Hughes argues this is not about being quiet but about being constructive. What would it look like in your specific workplace, home, or friendships to consistently apply this standard?

1.Hughes grounds his discussion in the creation mandate — God placed Adam in the garden "to work it and keep it" (Genesis 2:15) *before* the Fall. What does it mean that work is a pre-Fall gift rather than a post-Fall curse? How should this change a Christian man's attitude toward his vocation?

2.Colossians 3:23–24 commands workers to do everything "as for the Lord, not for men." Hughes argues that this makes every job — no matter how routine or unglamorous — an act of worship. How does this reframe the way you think about your daily work?

3.Hughes addresses the twin failures of laziness and workaholism — both of which misunderstand the meaning of work. Which of these is the greater temptation for you right now, and what are the specific circumstances that pull you in that direction?

1.The image in Hebrews 12 is of a long-distance race, not a sprint. Hughes argues that the Christian life is more like a marathon than a series of dramatic moments. Does your spiritual life feel more like a sustained run or a series of starts and stops? What accounts for the difference?

2.Hebrews 12:1 speaks of laying aside "every weight" — not just outright sin, but anything that slows us down. What are the specific weights (not necessarily sinful things) that are currently slowing your spiritual progress?

3.James says that trials produce perseverance, and perseverance produces maturity (James 1:3–4). Hughes argues that difficulties are not interruptions to spiritual growth but instruments of it. Think of a current or recent difficulty — can you see how God might be using it to build staying power in you?

1.Hughes challenges the "Lone Ranger Christian" — the man who believes he can grow spiritually without meaningful involvement in a local church. What is wrong with this approach, theologically and practically? Have you ever been tempted toward it?

2.1 Corinthians 12 describes the church as a body — every member necessary, no part dispensable. Hughes presses men to move from attendance to contribution. In your church, are you primarily a recipient or a contributor? What gifts and energy are you actually investing?

3.Acts 2:42–47 describes the early church's commitment to apostolic teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayer. Hughes uses this as a standard. How does your church community compare to this picture — and more personally, how does your engagement with your church community compare to it?

1.Jesus said "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:21). Hughes uses this to argue that a man's bank statements are a more accurate spiritual diagnostic than his prayer requests. What does your current financial behavior reveal about what you actually treasure?

2.Hughes presents tithing — giving ten percent as a baseline — not as a legalistic requirement but as a concrete act of faith and acknowledgment that everything belongs to God. Is tithing part of your current practice? If not, what is the primary obstacle — fear, unbelief, or something else?

3.Paul describes the cheerful giver as the one God loves (2 Corinthians 9:7). Hughes argues that joyful generosity is both a sign of spiritual health and a means of cultivating it. Do you experience joy in giving? If not, what do you think is missing?

1.Jesus redefines greatness as servanthood in Mark 10:42–45 — "Whoever would be great among you must be your servant." Hughes argues this is not the absence of leadership but a transformed kind of leadership. What is the difference between servant leadership and simply refusing to lead?

2.Hughes uses Nehemiah as a model of godly leadership — a man who combined prayer and planning, courage and compassion, vision and practicality. What quality of Nehemiah's leadership do you most want to develop, and which of his characteristics is most foreign to your current style?

3.Hughes argues that leadership begins at home before it can be exercised effectively anywhere else — hence Paul's qualifications for church leadership in 1 Timothy 3 include "managing his own household well." How would you assess your leadership at home — not just as provider but as spiritual initiator and servant?

1.Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and that we should glorify God in our bodies. Hughes argues this has practical implications for how men care for their health. How seriously have you taken this theological reality in your everyday physical habits?

2.Hughes is careful to balance 1 Timothy 4:8 — "bodily training is of some value, but godliness is of value in every way." Physical fitness matters, but it is not ultimate. How do you maintain the balance between appropriate physical care and making fitness an idol?

3.Hughes argues that neglecting physical health undermines a man's ability to serve well over the long haul — poor sleep, no exercise, and poor nutrition slowly erode energy, mood, and clarity. Have you experienced this in your own life? What are the specific physical habits that most affect your ability to serve and lead?

1.Paul says he has "learned" contentment (Philippians 4:11) — implying it was not natural to him and required a process. Hughes argues contentment is a discipline, not a temperament. What is the difference between someone who is naturally easygoing and someone who has learned genuine contentment?

2.Hughes identifies complaining, grumbling, and a spirit of entitlement as the primary enemies of contentment. Where do these attitudes most consistently show up in your own life — at home, at work, about the church, about circumstances?

3.The chapter addresses gratitude as a discipline — deliberately choosing to notice and give thanks for God's goodness rather than defaulting to a focus on what is missing or wrong. How intentional are you about cultivating gratitude? What practices help you do this?

1.Hughes distinguishes between selfish ambition (condemned in Philippians 2:3 and James 3:14) and what he calls "godly ambition" — the burning desire to please God and advance his kingdom. In your current life, which kind of ambition is most in evidence? How do you tell the difference from the inside?

2.Hughes argues that many Christian men have misdirected their drive — pouring enormous energy into career success, financial achievement, or personal reputation while treating kingdom pursuits as secondary. Does this describe any aspect of your own life?

3.Paul says his singular ambition is "to make it my aim to please him" (2 Corinthians 5:9). Hughes presents this as the model: a focused, burning desire to honor God in everything. What would need to shift in your daily priorities and decisions if this were genuinely your primary ambition?

1.Looking back across all eighteen chapters, which single discipline was most convicting or most challenging for you — and why do you think that particular area hit so hard?

2.Hughes's overarching thesis is that godliness requires deliberate training — that drift is the default and discipline is the exception. Has this study changed the way you think about your own spiritual life? In what specific ways?

3.Which chapter produced the most concrete change in your actual behavior or habits during the weeks of this study? What did you do differently — and has it stuck?