Book Club Questions for Habits of the Household

1.Earley opens by describing the chaos of family mornings — the screaming, the lost shoes, the frantic rush — and suggests this isn't just a logistical problem but a spiritual one. Does that framing resonate with your experience of family life? Why or why not?

2.The book borrows the concept of "liturgy" from the church and applies it to the home. In your own words, what does Earley mean when he talks about a "household liturgy"? How is this different from simply having a routine or schedule?

3.Earley argues that habits shape us even when — especially when — we're not consciously thinking about them. Where do you see evidence of this in your own household, for good or for ill?

1.Earley suggests that how we wake up sets the emotional and spiritual tone for the entire day. Do you agree? What does your typical morning currently communicate to your children before a word is spoken?

2.One of Earley's key concerns in this chapter is the smartphone — specifically, the habit of reaching for the phone before anything else in the morning. Why does he see this as more than just a bad productivity habit? What does it reveal about what we love and worship?

3.Earley connects the practice of waking to the Christian idea of resurrection — each morning is a small echo of Easter, a new mercy, a new beginning. How does this theological reframe change the way you think about your morning routine?

1.Earley notes that the average American family eats together surprisingly rarely, and when they do, screens often dominate. Before reading this chapter, how did you think about family mealtimes? Has that changed at all?

2.The chapter draws heavily on the biblical theme of the meal as a place of encounter, community, and even revelation — from the Emmaus road to the early church's table fellowship. Why do you think the meal is such a recurring image in Scripture? What does it tell us about how God relates to us?

3.Earley argues that eating together is not just a nice family tradition but a formative practice — it teaches children (and parents) what it means to be a community, to wait, to share, to listen, and to be present. Which of these "lessons" do you find hardest to practice at your own table, and why?

1.Earley makes a pointed observation: the word "discipline" shares its root with the word "disciple." Why does this etymology matter? How does it change the goal and the posture of correction in the home?

2.Most parents default to one of two failure modes in discipline: being too harsh and authoritarian, or being too permissive and conflict-avoidant. Which tendency do you lean toward, and what does that reveal about what you fear?

3.Earley draws a distinction between discipline that aims at behavior modification and discipline that aims at heart transformation. What does each look like in practice? What are the long-term consequences of each approach?

1.Be honest: what is your current relationship with screens in your household? On a scale of "intentional" to "reactive," where would you place yourself — and your children?

2.Earley argues that the problem with screens isn't primarily their content — though that matters — but their capacity to fracture attention and colonize imagination. What does he mean by this? Do you see evidence of this in your family?

3.The chapter suggests that handing a child a screen to stop a tantrum or fill a quiet moment has a hidden cost: it teaches the child that discomfort should always be immediately escaped. How does this formation work against virtues like patience, creativity, and resilience?

1.Be honest: does your family have any regular practice of prayer, Scripture reading, or worship together outside of Sunday morning? If yes, how is it going? If no, what has gotten in the way?

2.Earley acknowledges that family worship sounds intimidating and often feels like it "doesn't work" — kids are distracted, parents feel unqualified, and the whole thing can feel forced. How does he reframe the goal of family worship in a way that makes it more accessible?

3.Psalm 78 calls each generation to tell the next generation the "praiseworthy deeds of the Lord" so that they in turn will tell their children. This is a vision of faith transmission through intentional storytelling. What stories about God's faithfulness in your own family's history are worth telling your children? Have you told them?

1.Earley's decision to include a chapter on marriage in a parenting book is itself a statement. What is he saying about the relationship between the health of a marriage and the health of a household? Do you agree?

2.He observes that many parents find their relationship drifting into a purely logistical partnership — co-managers of children, schedules, and finances rather than lovers and friends. Does this description feel familiar? At what point in your parenting journey did (or might) this drift begin?

3.Earley argues that a strong marriage is itself formative for children — that children who see their parents delight in each other, apologize to each other, and choose each other are being taught something profound about love, covenant, and restoration. What specifically are your children learning about love by watching your marriage?

1.Be honest about your current bedtime experience. Is it a moment of connection and peace, or a frantic battle you are trying to survive? What emotions does bedtime most reliably surface in you as a parent?

2.Earley notes that children at bedtime often become suddenly talkative, vulnerable, and full of big questions. Rather than seeing this as a manipulative delay tactic, he frames it as an invitation. Why might the threshold of sleep be a particularly spiritually open moment? Have you experienced this with your own children?

3.The chapter introduces the concept of a "bedtime liturgy" — a repeating series of words, prayers, and blessings that settle a child and ground them in truth before sleep. What is the formative power of repetition here? Why is saying the same thing night after night more powerful than saying something brilliant once?

1.Earley introduces the concept of an "age chart" — a tool for parents to map out the years remaining with their child and identify what they want to intentionally cultivate in each season. Before you think about filling one in, what is your gut reaction to the exercise? Does it feel inspiring, convicting, overwhelming, or something else?

2.Psalm 90:12 asks God to "teach us to number our days." Earley applies this not just to our own lives but to our parenting. What would it mean to genuinely "number" the days you have with your children still at home? How does putting a number on it change how you feel about ordinary Tuesday evenings?

3.The chapter challenges the assumption that intentional parenting is something you can always do "later" — when things are less busy, when the kids are older, when life settles down. Why is that delay so dangerous? What do you personally tend to be waiting for before you become more intentional?

1.Looking back across the entire book, which chapter or habit was most personally convicting or transformative for you? What specifically did it surface in you — conviction, hope, grief, motivation?

2.Earley's central thesis is that habits form hearts, and that whoever designs the habits of your household is discipling your family. Has this idea changed the way you see your daily routines? Give a specific example of something you now see differently.

3.Think about the state of your household when you began this study versus now. What, if anything, has actually changed? Even small shifts count — a new morning blessing, a screen-free dinner, a bedtime prayer you started saying.