Book Club Questions for Lies Women Believe

1.Nancy opens by observing that Satan's strategy in the Garden of Eden has never changed—he plants seeds of doubt about God's Word and God's goodness. In your own words, what is Satan's basic playbook, and why do you think it is still so effective thousands of years later?

2.The author argues that most of women's struggles—guilt, fear, emotional bondage, relational conflict—are rooted not in circumstances but in *believing lies*. Does that claim feel true to you, exaggerated, or uncomfortable? Why?

3.Nancy traces a progression: we listen to the lie, we dwell on it, we believe it, we act on it, and then we experience the consequences. Think of a recurring struggle in your life. Can you identify a lie underneath it using that progression?

1.Nancy identifies several specific lies women believe about God, such as: 'God is not really good,' 'God doesn't love me,' 'God is just like my father,' and 'God is not enough.' Which of these surprised you most as a lie that Christian women actually believe? Which hit closest to home?

2.The author argues that a distorted view of God is at the root of virtually every other lie we believe. Why does our theology—our actual, felt sense of who God is—have such downstream effects on our emotions, choices, and relationships?

3.Nancy addresses the lie 'God is just like my father.' How can a painful or absent earthly father skew a woman's perception of her heavenly Father, and what does Scripture actually reveal about God's fatherhood that corrects that distortion?

1.Nancy identifies lies such as: 'I'm not worth anything,' 'I need to love myself more before I can love others,' 'I can't help the way I am,' and 'I have to meet certain standards to feel good about myself.' Which of these have you encountered most frequently—in yourself or in women around you?

2.The author pushes back on the popular therapeutic idea that low self-esteem is the root of most personal problems and that what women need is more self-love. What is her alternative diagnosis, and do you find it convincing or difficult?

3.Nancy argues that the lie 'I can't help the way I am' is particularly destructive because it removes personal responsibility and closes the door to change. Where have you heard—or used—this reasoning? What does the gospel say about our capacity for real change?

1.Nancy exposes lies such as: 'I'm not that bad,' 'My sin isn't really that serious,' 'God wants me to be happy,' and 'I can't overcome my sin.' Which of these does the culture—or the church—most widely accept without questioning?

2.The author argues that we tend to minimize our own sin while magnifying others' offenses against us. Do you recognize this tendency in yourself? What does it reveal about the human heart's default setting?

3.Nancy warns that sin that is not dealt with honestly and repented of becomes hardened through the 'deceitfulness of sin' (Hebrews 3:13). Can you think of an area where gradual compromise has made something feel more acceptable over time than it once did?

1.Among the lies Nancy addresses in this chapter—'I don't have time for that,' 'My work is more important than my home,' 'I can have it all,' 'I have to do everything perfectly or not at all'—which one most resonates with struggles you face in your own scheduling and choices?

2.Nancy uses the contrast between Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38–42) to illustrate the danger of letting good, necessary activities crowd out the 'one thing needed.' In what ways does your life look more like Martha's? What would sitting at Jesus' feet look like for you today?

3.The lie 'I can have it all' promises that we can excel equally in career, family, friendship, ministry, and self-care without sacrificing any of them. What does Nancy say about the reality of trade-offs, and where do you feel the tension of that most acutely?

1.Nancy addresses lies such as: 'I have to have a husband to be happy,' 'If my husband weren't so difficult, I would be a better wife,' 'My husband is supposed to meet my deepest needs,' and 'It's my job to change my husband.' Which of these have you believed—or heard others express—most often?

2.The lie 'I have to have a husband to be happy' affects both single women (who feel incomplete) and married women (who expect more from their husbands than any human can give). How does placing that expectation on a spouse set the marriage up for disappointment?

3.Nancy is unflinching in addressing wifely submission—not as a relic of a patriarchal past but as a God-designed picture of the gospel (Ephesians 5:22–33). What is the difference between the world's caricature of submission and the biblical vision? What makes biblical submission both costly and beautiful?

1.Nancy addresses lies such as: 'I don't need to have children / children will cramp my lifestyle,' 'My children are the center of my world,' 'I can protect my children from all hurt,' and 'My children's choices are a reflection of my worth as a mother.' Which of these carries the most weight for you?

2.The cultural message that children are optional lifestyle accessories conflicts sharply with Psalm 127's view of children as a heritage and reward from the Lord. How has our culture's framing of children as a burden rather than a blessing shaped the choices of women around you?

3.The lie that children should be the *center* of a mother's world sounds loving but can produce child-centered homes that are unhealthy for both parent and child. What does Nancy say about the proper ordering of a mother's loves and loyalties? How does that actually serve children better?

1.Nancy identifies lies such as: 'If I feel something, it must be true,' 'I can't control my emotions,' 'I shouldn't have to feel pain or sadness,' and 'It's okay to let my emotions control my behavior.' Which of these is most familiar to your own emotional patterns?

2.The lie 'If I feel it, it must be true' is especially powerful because emotions feel so immediate and personal. What is the difference between acknowledging an emotion as real and treating it as authoritative truth? How does Jeremiah 17:9 speak to this?

3.Nancy does not dismiss emotions as bad—she affirms that God created us as emotional beings and that even Jesus wept. But she distinguishes between *having* emotions and being *controlled* by them. In what area of your life do your emotions most often lead rather than follow your convictions?

1.Nancy addresses lies such as: 'If my circumstances were different, I would be different,' 'I shouldn't have to suffer,' 'My circumstances will never change,' and 'I can't cope with what I'm facing.' Which of these has been most active in your thinking during a difficult season?

2.The lie 'If my circumstances were different, I would be different' is a powerful excuse. It locates the problem outside ourselves and removes the call to grow where we are planted. How does Romans 8:28 challenge us to see even difficult circumstances as purposeful rather than accidental?

3.Nancy likely references women from Scripture or church history who found contentment and fruitfulness in profoundly difficult circumstances. What enables some people to thrive spiritually in hard circumstances while others are defeated by comparatively milder ones? What does the difference reveal?

1.Nancy addresses relational lies such as: 'I can't forgive what was done to me,' 'I have the right to be bitter,' 'I can't get along with that person,' and 'Everything would be fine if others would just change.' Which of these reflects a pattern you have wrestled with?

2.The lie 'I can't forgive' often rests on a misunderstanding of what forgiveness is. Nancy distinguishes between forgiveness as an emotion (which may not come immediately) and forgiveness as a decision (which is required of us). How does that distinction change the way you approach forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you?

3.Unforgiveness is often framed as a justified response to genuine wrong. But Nancy argues it is actually a form of bondage—that the bitter person remains chained to the one who hurt them. Have you seen this dynamic at work in your own life or in someone you know? What did bitterness actually cost?

1.Nancy describes the process of renewing the mind (Romans 12:2) as the central mechanism of lasting change. In your own words, what does the renewal of the mind involve, and why is it a process rather than a single experience?

2.The author emphasizes the critical role of God's Word—not Christian self-help books, not counseling alone, not positive thinking—as the primary agent of truth that dismantles lies. How does Psalm 119:9–11 ('I have stored up Your Word in my heart') model a life of truth-saturation?

3.Nancy calls women to develop a habit of 'taking every thought captive' (2 Corinthians 10:5)—recognizing when a thought is a lie, naming it, and replacing it with truth. What would a practical daily or weekly version of that habit look like for you?

1.Nancy envisions women who have been liberated from lies becoming agents of truth in their homes, friendships, and churches. What does it look like to help someone else identify a lie they are believing without being preachy or self-righteous?

2.James 5:16 calls us to confess our sins and struggles to one another for healing. How does honest, mutual confession between women in a community help dismantle the power of lies that thrive in secrecy?

3.Second Timothy 2:24–26 describes how the Lord's servant gently corrects those who are in opposition, hoping God will grant them repentance and lead them to the truth. What does gentleness look like when you are trying to speak truth into someone's life who is not ready to hear it?

1.Looking back across the entire book, which chapter or which specific lie hit you the hardest—the one where you most clearly recognized yourself? What made that particular lie so embedded in your thinking?

2.Before reading *Lies Women Believe*, how would you have diagnosed your most significant struggles? How has your diagnosis changed after working through Nancy's framework of lies and truth?

3.Nancy's central argument is that believing lies leads to bondage and believing truth leads to freedom. As you reflect on your life over the past several weeks, what evidence have you seen—even small signs—of greater freedom as you have applied truth to specific lies?