Book Club Questions for Love Does

1.Bob opens by describing his sense that God is not a distant observer but someone who is genuinely "with" us. What is your gut reaction to that idea — does it feel obvious, surprising, or a little uncomfortable? Why?

2.He frames the book as a collection of stories rather than a list of principles. Why do you think he chose stories as his primary vehicle? What can a story do that a bullet-point list cannot?

3.The publisher description calls Bob "the world's best-kept secret." What do you think that means, and what does it suggest about the kind of faith Bob is modeling — is it loud or quiet? Public or personal?

1.Bob describes making a decision to pursue something even when it seemed unreasonable or ill-timed. What was the decision, and what made it feel risky or unconventional?

2.The title "Skipping Christmas" suggests leaving behind something expected or comfortable. What "expected" things in your own life might actually be worth skipping in order to pursue something more alive?

3.Bob's adventures often begin with a simple "yes" before the details are worked out. Do you tend to say yes first and figure it out, or figure it out first and then say yes? What are the gifts and dangers of each approach?

1.Who is the "raddest guy" in this chapter, and what specific qualities or actions made Bob describe him that way?

2.Bob has a gift for noticing people who embody a quality he wants to grow into. Who in your own life has served that kind of role — someone whose way of being made you want to be different? What was it about them specifically?

3.This chapter seems to suggest that love is often learned by imitation — by watching someone do it and then doing it yourself. Do you agree? What are the limits of that idea?

1.What happened in this chapter that caused the feeling of mortification, and how did Bob respond to it?

2.Bob seems to have a remarkable immunity to embarrassment — or at least a willingness to move through it. Do you think that is a personality trait, a spiritual discipline, or something else? What forms it?

3.Think of a time you held back from doing something loving or generous because you were afraid of looking foolish. What was at stake for you in that moment?

1.What was Bob's goal in arranging meetings with world leaders for his children, and how did he actually manage to make it happen? What does the method itself reveal about his character?

2.The strategy Bob used was essentially just asking — writing letters, being persistent, refusing to be deterred by the word "no." What do you think most people assume will happen when they ask for something audacious, and how does Bob's experience challenge that assumption?

3.Bob seems to parent from a place of imagination and generosity — creating experiences for his children that are unique and deeply intentional. What does this chapter say about his vision of what it means to love the people closest to you?

1.What was "the Ben Franklin" move Bob describes in this chapter, and what made it feel significant rather than merely transactional?

2.Bob has a knack for acts of generosity that feel both surprising and exactly right. What does it take to give that kind of gift — one that is specific to the person rather than generic?

3.Think of the most meaningful gift or act of kindness you have ever received. What made it meaningful — was it the cost, the thought, the timing, or something else?

1.What is the story of the raccoon, and what unexpected truth does Bob draw from it? Did the conclusion surprise you or feel earned?

2.Bob has a gift for finding meaning in the absurd. What does that habit of mind — looking for significance in strange, small, or funny moments — suggest about his broader worldview?

3.The idea of a "last will and testament" is about what you pass on. If you were to write a spiritual last will and testament today — not of possessions but of values, habits, and loves — what would be in it?

1.What "chance" is Bob describing in this chapter, and what did it cost him to take it? What did it produce?

2.Bob famously sat on a bench outside a law school dean's office for seven days until they let him enroll. What does that story reveal about the difference between persistence and stubbornness — or are those the same thing?

3.What "chance" has someone taken on you — a teacher who believed in you, an employer who hired you, a friend who chose you? How did that change you?

1.What was Bob's "goalpost" in this chapter — what was he aiming for, and what happened when he got there or didn't?

2.We live in a culture obsessed with goals, metrics, and achievement. Bob seems to be pushing back on that — not against ambition, but against the belief that the destination is the point. Do you agree with him? Why or why not?

3.Can you think of a time you achieved a goal and felt surprisingly empty when you got there? Or a time you didn't reach a goal but found that the process formed you in important ways? What did each experience teach you?

1.What is the ceiling fan metaphor, and what spiritual or relational truth does Bob use it to illustrate? Did the image land for you — why or why not?

2.Bob has a gift for finding ordinary objects and moments that carry spiritual weight. What does it take to live with that kind of attentiveness? Is it something you can cultivate, or does it require a certain kind of personality?

3.The idea that a small reversal in direction can change a negative force into a positive one is deeply hopeful. Where in your life has a small change in orientation — in attitude, approach, or direction — had an outsized positive effect?

1.Describe the cabin as Bob presents it. What makes it special — and is it the physical place itself, or what Bob does with it, that matters most?

2.Bob seems to believe deeply in hospitality — in creating spaces and experiences that invite people into something larger than themselves. Who in your life has done that for you, and what did it mean?

3.The cabin is not just a retreat from the world — it is a place where Bob's vision of love gets embodied. What does it look like to make the spaces you inhabit (home, office, church) places where love can be experienced rather than just discussed?

1.How did Bob's relationship with Uganda begin, and what did it grow into? What does the arc of that story say about the nature of love when it is given consistently over time?

2.Bob did not go to Uganda with a program or a plan — he went with a relationship. How does that "relationship first" approach compare to more common models of charitable or mission work? What are its strengths and weaknesses?

3.The fact that Bob became the Ugandan consul is almost unbelievable — but it grew organically from genuine friendship. What does this story suggest about what is possible when love is patient, consistent, and un-strategic?

1.What is the Tom Sawyer analogy Bob is drawing on, and how does he use it to describe a way of living? Did it resonate with you — do you feel like someone in a story, or more like an observer?

2.Bob talks about "real pirates" — people who live with genuine risk, genuine adventure, and genuine stakes. Who are the real pirates in your life, and what do you admire about them?

3.There is a kind of Christianity that is cautious, careful, and risk-averse. Bob seems to find that version boring and slightly dishonest. Do you agree? Is there a place for caution in a life of love?

1.What is the landlord story, and what spiritual truth does Bob draw from the change-of-ownership experience? Was the comparison effective for you?

2.The idea of surrender — of giving up control — is central to the Christian life, but it is one of the hardest things most people ever do. What makes it hard? Is it fear, pride, past experience, or something else?

3.Bob frames the Christian life not as a set of rules imposed by an absentee landlord but as a life shaped by a good owner who is present and who genuinely wants what is best. How does your functional picture of God compare to that? What formed your picture?

1.What does "crashing the boards" mean in basketball, and how does Bob use the image? What is the spiritual or relational equivalent he is pointing toward?

2.Rebounding is often the least glamorous part of basketball — it requires effort, positioning, and a willingness to do unglamorous work. What are the equivalents in your life — the unglamorous, consistent efforts that make everything else possible?

3.Bob seems to be less interested in being impressive than in being useful. How countercultural is that instinct, and how does it show up practically in how he lives and loves?

1.What is the "wiggle room" Bob is talking about, and why does he think it matters? How does he distinguish between the kind of freedom that leads to love and the kind that leads to self-indulgence?

2.Many people experience their faith as primarily a set of rules to follow. Bob seems to experience it as primarily a relationship to grow in. What is the practical difference between those two orientations, and which feels more natural to you?

3.Bob is clearly not arguing for moral relativism — he believes deeply in right and wrong. But he resists a faith that is primarily defined by prohibition. How do you find the balance between structure and freedom in your own spiritual life?

1.What story does Bob tell in this chapter that illustrates the power of presence? What made the act of "being there" significant — what did it communicate that words or gifts could not?

2.We live in a culture of busyness where presence is the scarcest resource most people have. Who in your life is suffering from a shortage of your presence — not your help, your advice, or your money, but simply you?

3.Bob seems to resist the urge to fix, advise, or problem-solve, and simply offers himself. For many of us — especially helpers, leaders, and parents — that is very hard. Why is it so difficult to just be there without doing something?

1.What happened at the drive-through, and what made it a meaningful story rather than just a quirky anecdote? What did Bob do, and what did it produce?

2.Bob seems to experience ordinary life — drive-throughs, waiting rooms, grocery store lines — as a field of opportunity rather than dead time to be endured. What would have to change in your own life to see ordinary moments that way?

3.The drive-through story involves a small, spontaneous act of generosity or kindness. What is the spiritual discipline behind such acts — what kind of person do you have to be on the inside to respond that way on the outside?

1.What specific justice work does Bob describe in this chapter, and what was the situation he was fighting against? What made it a fight — what was the resistance he encountered?

2.Bob is a lawyer who uses his skills to fight for children in Uganda who have been caught up in conflict and criminalized for things they were forced to do. How does his professional expertise connect to his vision of love? What does this say about how vocation and love can intersect?

3.Bob talks about "fighting for the opportunity" rather than fighting for a guaranteed outcome. What is the distinction, and why does he frame it that way? Is that distinction comforting or frustrating to you?

1.What is the waving story, and what does Bob say about what a wave communicates? Did it strike you as profound or overly simple — or both at the same time?

2.Bob finds deep meaning in small, repeated gestures of acknowledgment and welcome. Is there a small ritual in your own life — a wave, a greeting, a habit — that carries more love than you have consciously recognized?

3.To wave at someone is to say, "I see you, and I'm glad you're here." Who in your life most needs to hear that message from you — and what form would it take?

1.What does Bob mean by "the release," and what specific story or image does he use to illustrate it? What made the moment of release significant?

2.Bob seems to understand that love must eventually let go — of children, of outcomes, of people we have invested in. Is letting go an act of love or a failure of love? How do you hold those together?

3.Think of a time you had to release something or someone you loved — a child leaving home, a friend moving away, a dream that didn't come true. What did that release teach you about the nature of love?

1.Which chapter or story from Love Does had the greatest impact on you, and why? What was it about that particular story that reached you in a way the others didn't?

2.Bob's central thesis is that love is not passive — it does something. How has your understanding of love changed or deepened over the course of the book? Is there a specific belief or assumption that has been challenged or replaced?

3.Look back over the past several weeks of discussion. Is there a theme or image — the cabin, the wave, the release, the bench outside the dean's office — that has continued to resurface in your thoughts? What is that recurring image saying to you?