Book Club Questions for Play the Man

1.Batterson opens with the account of Polycarp, the second-century bishop who refused to deny Christ and heard a voice from heaven cry, "Play the man." What was your first reaction to that story? Had you heard of Polycarp before?

2.Batterson describes our current moment as a kind of "no man's land" — a cultural space where the definition of manhood has been lost or confused. Do you agree with his diagnosis? What evidence do you see of this confusion in your own world?

3.The phrase "play the man" is drawn from the Greek word *andrizomai*, meaning to act like a man or to be courageous. Why do you think Paul uses this word in 1 Corinthians 16:13 alongside "be strong" and "stand firm in the faith"? What does that cluster of commands say about what God expects of men?

1.Batterson describes "tough love" as a combination of tenderness and tenacity — a love that is neither soft nor harsh but strong. How does that description square with the models of love you grew up with, particularly from father figures?

2.Batterson uses the image of a father blessing his children as a central act of manhood. What does a genuine blessing — spoken, intentional, personal — look like in practice? Did you receive that kind of blessing from your own father or a father figure?

3.The chapter addresses the danger of passive fathering — men who are physically present but emotionally or spiritually absent. In what areas of your relationships are you most tempted toward passivity?

1.It may seem counterintuitive for a book about manhood to celebrate childlike wonder. Why does Batterson believe this is a virtue rather than a weakness? Do you find his argument convincing?

2.Batterson draws on Jesus' words in Matthew 18:3 — "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" — to ground this virtue theologically. What do you think Jesus meant, and how does it apply to the daily life of a man?

3.Think about the last time you felt genuine wonder — at creation, at a moment with your kids, at an idea that stopped you in your tracks. What was it, and how long ago was it?

1.Batterson distinguishes between fighting in anger — the kind that destroys relationships — and fighting spirit, the kind that refuses to quit, protect what matters, and stand for truth. How do you tell the difference in your own heart between those two kinds of fight?

2.The chapter draws on the spiritual warfare language of Ephesians 6 — the armor of God, the schemes of the enemy. How seriously do you take the idea that you are in a spiritual battle? Does that framework feel real and urgent to you, or distant and abstract?

3.Batterson argues that many men are fighting the wrong battles — with their wives, their bosses, their circumstances — while neglecting the real battle for their souls, their families, and their calling. Where have you been fighting the wrong battle?

1.Batterson frames hard work not merely as a practical necessity but as a reflection of the image of God — who Himself worked in creation. How does seeing your work as image-bearing activity change how you feel about your daily labor?

2.The chapter likely addresses the difference between being busy and being productive — working hard on the right things versus filling time with the wrong things. Which of those is your greater temptation?

3.Batterson often speaks of going the "second mile" — doing more than is required, more than is noticed, more than is rewarded. Think of a specific context in your life — your work, your marriage, your parenting, your church — where the second mile is calling your name.

1.Batterson distinguishes between physical courage (facing danger) and moral courage (facing disapproval, loss, or consequence for doing what is right). Which kind of courage do you find more difficult? Why?

2.The chapter likely revisits Polycarp, who is the supreme example of moral courage in the book — choosing death over denial. What makes his example compelling rather than merely distant and historical? What is the modern equivalent of that choice?

3.Batterson argues that many men live in quiet moral compromise — not in dramatic failures but in small daily surrenders. Where in your life are you making quiet compromises that you would be uncomfortable naming out loud?

1.Batterson argues that passion itself is not the problem — misdirected passion is. What are the passions that currently get the most of your emotional energy? Are those passions producing fruit you are proud of?

2.The chapter draws on the image of "holy discontent" — the idea that God gives certain men a burning frustration with the way things are as a fuel for changing them. Have you ever felt that kind of holy discontent? What was it about, and what did you do with it?

3.Batterson contrasts the man who lives with passive resignation — going through the motions of life and faith — with the man who is lit up by a sense of God-given purpose. Which of those describes you more honestly right now?

1.Batterson defines true grit as something more than toughness — it is perseverance with purpose, endurance animated by a vision of something worth finishing. How is that different from simple stubbornness or white-knuckled willpower?

2.The book draws on the stories of men who endured extraordinary hardship — physical, relational, spiritual — and came out the other side still faithful. Which of those stories hit you hardest in this chapter, and why?

3.Hebrews 12:1 calls believers to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Batterson builds on this image throughout the book. What is the race marked out specifically for you — and are you running it, walking it, or sitting on the sideline?

1.Batterson's mantra throughout the book is two-sided: "Play the man. Make the man." As you reach the conclusion, how do you understand the relationship between those two imperatives? Why are both necessary?

2.The conclusion calls men to invest in the next generation — not as a program or a ministry role but as a lifestyle of intentional relationship. Is there a specific younger man (a son, a neighbor, a young man at church) in whom you sense God is calling you to invest? What is holding you back from taking that step?

3.Batterson argues that discipleship is more caught than taught — that the most powerful thing you can do for a younger man is live a life worth imitating. When you honestly examine your life, what are you modeling that you would want passed on? What are you modeling that you would not?

1.Looking back across all seven virtues — tough love, childlike wonder, fighting spirit, hard work, moral courage, raw passion, and true grit — which one spoke most directly to where you are in life right now? Why that one?

2.Which virtue was the most uncomfortable for you to sit with? What does that discomfort tell you about where you most need to grow?

3.Polycarp's story bookends the entire book. Now that you've read it all, how has your understanding of what it means to "play the man" deepened or changed from Week 1 to now?