Book Club Questions for The Best Yes

1.Lysa opens by describing a woman who is emotionally and physically depleted because she cannot stop saying yes. How much of that picture resonated with your own life? Be specific — what does your version of that exhaustion look like?

2.She introduces the phrase "the disease to please." In your own words, how would you define it? What are the symptoms you recognize in yourself?

3.Lysa argues that a small yes given without thought or prayer can set off a chain reaction of consequences far beyond what we anticipated. Can you think of a time when one casual yes snowballed into something much larger than you bargained for?

1.Lysa acknowledges upfront that the demands on women (and people in general) are genuinely overwhelming — she isn't suggesting we imagine it or toughen up. Why is it important that she validates the reality of those demands before offering a solution? How does that validation affect your willingness to keep reading?

2.She describes how the accumulation of small yeses can crowd out the things that matter most. What are the small, seemingly harmless yeses that have quietly accumulated in your life? Make a list if it helps.

3.Lysa uses Proverbs 4:25–27 — "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you" — as a framework for keeping focus. In practical terms, what does it look like to keep your eyes "straight ahead" when demands are pressing in from every direction?

1.Lysa describes a woman who is not lazy or irresponsible but genuinely worn down by too many commitments made with too little wisdom. Do you recognize yourself in that portrait? What are the signs in your own life that you are operating from a depleted place?

2.She points out that worn-down women often make their worst decisions precisely when they are most depleted — they say yes when they should say no because they don't have the emotional reserves to hold a boundary. Can you think of a recent example of this in your own experience?

3.Lysa distinguishes between being busy and being fruitful. What is the difference? How do you personally measure whether your activity is producing genuine fruit or just filling time?

1.Lysa opens with the honest admission that even a woman pursuing wisdom can feel completely lost in the middle of a hard decision. Have you ever prayed for wisdom and still felt stuck? What did that experience feel like?

2.She introduces a key distinction between decisions made from wisdom and decisions made from emotion in the moment. What are some emotions — fear, guilt, excitement, flattery — that have driven your decisions in the past? How did those decisions turn out?

3.James 1:5 promises that God will give wisdom generously to those who ask. But Lysa notes that wisdom is not always a sudden download — sometimes it is accumulated over time through Scripture, counsel, and experience. How do you currently "accumulate" wisdom? What habits or practices build it up in you?

1.Lysa argues that an overwhelmed schedule is not just a logistical problem but a spiritual symptom — it reveals something about what we truly believe and fear. What do you think your current schedule reveals about what you believe or fear?

2.She shares the concept that we often fill our schedules to avoid a deeper discomfort — the discomfort of stillness, of facing unresolved emotions, or of confronting what we truly want. Does busyness ever function as avoidance in your life? What might you be avoiding?

3.Lysa describes the cry of the heart beneath the overwhelmed schedule — a longing to matter, to be needed, to feel secure. Which of those longings resonates most with you, and how does it show up in the way you say yes?

1.Lysa uses the language of "in-between" seasons — times when you know a chapter is ending but the next hasn't clearly begun. Can you identify a current or recent in-between season in your own life? What has that felt like?

2.She argues that saying yes in the wrong season — even to a genuinely good thing — can be a mistake, because timing matters as much as the thing itself. Have you ever accepted a good opportunity at the wrong time? What happened?

3.Ecclesiastes 3 declares there is a time for everything under heaven. Lysa uses this passage to affirm that not every open door is God's invitation, and not every good idea is God's idea for right now. How do you discern whether an opportunity is right for this season of your life?

1.Lysa introduces the phrase "God assignment" to describe the specific yeses God has prepared for each of us. In your own words, what distinguishes a God assignment from a good idea or a good opportunity?

2.She offers a series of filtering questions to help identify whether something is a God assignment. Which of those filters feels most helpful to you? Which feels hardest to apply honestly?

3.Lysa is careful to say that missing a God assignment because you said yes to too many other things is a real spiritual cost. Have you ever sensed that you missed an opportunity that was truly yours because your plate was too full? What did that feel like?

1.Lysa describes the "emotional yes" as a decision made in the heat of a feeling — excitement, guilt, flattery, compassion — before wisdom has had time to weigh in. What emotions most reliably trigger a yes from you before you've really thought it through?

2.She shares stories of women who felt guilted or flattered into a yes they later regretted. Can you recall a time when guilt or flattery drove a yes from you? What was the cost?

3.Proverbs 19:2 says, "Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way." How does haste — the rush of an emotional moment — work against good decision-making? What practices help you slow down?

1.Lysa frames saying no not as selfishness but as faithfulness — a way of protecting the yeses that truly belong to you. How does reframing no as an act of stewardship change how you feel about saying it?

2.She offers practical language for saying no graciously — acknowledging the request, expressing care for the person, and declining without over-explaining or apologizing excessively. Which of those elements do you find most difficult?

3.Lysa introduces the idea of the "small no" — the quiet, gracious decline that doesn't require a dramatic confrontation. Can you think of a small no you could offer this week that would protect something important? What's stopping you from giving it?

1.Lysa names the fear of missing God's will as one of the primary reasons people either over-commit (to cover all the bases) or under-commit (paralyzed by the fear of choosing wrong). Which tendency do you lean toward, and why?

2.She offers a reassuring reframe: God is not hiding His will from us like a treasure hunt designed to trip us up. He is a Good Father who wants us to know how to walk with Him. How does that image of God change how you approach decision-making?

3.Proverbs 16:9 says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." What is the proper balance between planning wisely and trusting God to redirect? Have you experienced God redirecting a plan of yours in a way that turned out to be better?

1.Lysa synthesizes the wisdom-based decision-making process she has been building toward throughout the book. In your own words, summarize the key steps of that process as you understand it.

2.She describes wisdom as something that must be gathered and stored over time — through Scripture, prayer, counsel, and experience — so that it is available when a decision needs to be made. What wisdom-gathering habits do you currently practice? What habits do you need to develop?

3.James 3:17 describes wisdom that comes from heaven as "pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere." Run one of your current decisions through that filter. Does your potential yes reflect these qualities?

1.Lysa paints a picture of what the Best Yes life looks like — not a life with fewer problems or less demand, but a life with more clarity, intentionality, and peace. What elements of that picture do you most deeply want for your own life?

2.She is clear that the Best Yes life is not a perfectly ordered life — it is a practiced life, one that requires continual return to wisdom, prayer, and recalibration. What does "continual return" look like practically for you?

3.Ephesians 5:15–17 calls us to "make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." Lysa uses this passage to call readers to a sober awareness of how quickly time passes. How does the brevity of life affect your motivation to protect your Best Yes decisions?

1.Lysa describes panic as the enemy of wisdom — the state in which we are most likely to make decisions we later regret. What typically triggers a panic-driven yes in your life? What does that state feel like?

2.Isaiah 30:15 says, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." Israel rejected that counsel — they wanted horses and speed instead. In what areas of your life are you choosing "horses and speed" over quietness and trust?

3.Lysa argues that panic is often a symptom of unbelief — a deep, unacknowledged fear that God is not enough, not near enough, not attentive enough. Do you agree with that diagnosis? What does panic reveal about what you truly believe?

1.Looking back across the entire book, which chapter or idea landed most powerfully for you? What was it about that particular concept that got through to you in a way others didn't?

2.At the beginning of this study, what did you believe about saying yes and saying no? How has that understanding shifted, deepened, or been challenged by the time you've spent with this book?

3.Lysa's core argument is that our decisions shape our days, our days shape our lives, and our lives are acts of worship. As you review your life since beginning this study, can you point to any specific decision — a yes or a no — that you made differently because of what you were learning?