Book Club Questions for The Love Dare

1.The introduction opens with the image of a firefighter entering a burning building — an image that ties directly to the film *Fireproof*. What does that metaphor suggest about what it will cost to rescue a marriage in trouble?

2.The authors distinguish between love as a feeling and love as a commitment. In your own words, what is the difference, and why does this distinction matter for marriage?

3.The book is structured as a 40-day dare. Why do you think the authors chose 40 days specifically? What biblical patterns come to mind when you think of that number?

1.Day 1's dare is simply to say nothing negative to your spouse for the entire day. How did that dare go? What did it reveal about how often critical or cutting words come naturally to you?

2.The authors describe a husband or wife who is chronically irritable as someone whose 'fuse is too short.' What feeds a short fuse in marriage — what things in your own life make you more easily provoked?

3.Day 3 introduces the dare of kindness — doing something unexpectedly thoughtful for your spouse. What did you do, or what did you consider doing? What made it feel easy or hard?

1.The authors argue that selfishness is the primary enemy of a healthy marriage. Do you agree? Can you identify a recent conflict in your marriage that, if you're honest, was rooted in your own desire to get your way?

2.The book describes four symptoms of selfishness: thinking you deserve more, keeping score, being demanding, and being ungrateful. Which of these do you recognize most readily in yourself?

3.Day 9 dares you to think about what your spouse needs today — not what you need — and then act on it. What did you discover about your default setting: are you naturally tuned in to your spouse's needs or your own?

1.Day 15 introduces the concept of 'leaving and cleaving' from Genesis 2:24. The dare challenges you to identify any person, habit, or priority that has crept in between you and your spouse. What came to mind?

2.The authors warn against allowing in-laws, friends, work, or even children to occupy the place that belongs only to your spouse. Have any of these relationships or commitments quietly displaced your marriage? How?

3.Day 16 dares you to 'pray for your spouse.' How does praying for your spouse specifically — for their needs, their fears, their growth — change the way you think about and relate to them?

1.The authors describe unforgiveness as drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Have you seen this dynamic at work in your own marriage? What does chronic bitterness actually do to the person who holds it?

2.Day 22 dares you to make a list of your spouse's positive qualities — even in a season of pain. What did making that list feel like? What did it produce in you emotionally or spiritually?

3.The book distinguishes between forgiving and excusing — forgiveness does not mean what happened was okay. Why is this distinction so important, especially for someone who has been genuinely hurt by their spouse?

1.Day 29 is a turning point — it directly addresses the spiritual condition of the person doing the dare, not just their behavior. The dare invites the reader to consider whether they have truly surrendered their life to God. How did you respond to that dare?

2.The authors argue that you cannot ultimately love your spouse the way God intends without God's love flowing through you. Do you find this claim liberating, frustrating, or convicting? Why?

3.Ephesians 5 describes marriage as a picture of Christ and the church. The authors lean heavily on this passage. What does it mean for a husband to love his wife 'as Christ loved the church'? What does it mean for a wife to respect her husband?

1.The book draws a clear distinction between a contract and a covenant. What is the difference? Why does it matter which framework you use when you think about your marriage vows?

2.Day 34 confronts the cultural acceptance of divorce and challenges readers to take it 'off the table' as an option. How do you react to that challenge? Is it responsible? Is it biblical? What does removing that option do to the way you approach conflict?

3.The authors reference Malachi 2, where God says He hates divorce — not as a condemnation of those who have experienced it, but as a statement about how seriously He takes the covenant of marriage. What does God's hatred of divorce tell you about how much He values what marriage represents?

1.Day 38 circles back to the beginning — love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). After 38 days, what has that phrase come to mean to you that it did not mean on Day 1?

2.The authors do not promise that the 40 days will fix your marriage. They promise that love, consistently chosen, over time, by God's grace, will not ultimately fail. How does that longer-horizon promise change your expectations?

3.Day 39 challenges you to love your spouse in a way that is specifically tailored to who they are — not generic kindness, but love that says 'I know you.' What does that look like practically for your spouse?

1.Looking across all 40 dares, which single dare had the most significant impact on you or your marriage? What made it so powerful?

2.Before you began *The Love Dare*, how would you have defined love? How has your definition changed after 40 days of daring?

3.Which dare was the most difficult for you personally — not because it was complicated, but because it required something from you that did not come naturally? What does that difficulty reveal about an area where you still need to grow?