Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro

Week 8: Chapter 8 — Restoring Relationships

Read Chapter 8 of Leading on Empty. Key Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Hebrews 10:24-25.

Burnout is almost always a relational crisis as much as a personal one — it isolates us from the very people who could help restore us. This chapter calls us back to community and accountability.

Discussion Questions

7 questions

1.Cordeiro describes how burnout tends to push leaders into isolation — they withdraw from honest friendship precisely when they need it most. Have you experienced that pattern? What drove the withdrawal?

2.The author speaks candidly about the impact his burnout had on his marriage and family. How does the myth that "sacrificing for ministry is sacrificing for God" damage the relationships closest to us? Is that a myth you have believed or perpetuated?

3.Cordeiro emphasizes the need for what he calls "peer friendships" — relationships with people who know you fully, not as a pastor or leader, but as a person. Do you have those friendships? What makes them so difficult for leaders to cultivate and maintain?

4.The passage from Ecclesiastes reminds us that two are better than one — that we are not designed to carry the weight of life and ministry alone. How has individualism in Western culture (and church culture) worked against the kind of mutual support Scripture envisions?

5.Cordeiro writes about the importance of professional help — counselors and therapists — for those in burnout. There is often a stigma around mental health care in ministry contexts. Where does that stigma come from, and how does the gospel speak to it?

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Closing Prayer

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Father, you designed us for community because you yourself exist in community — Father, Son, and Spirit. Forgive us for the pride that keeps us isolated and the fear that keeps us masked. Thank you for placing people in our lives who can hold us up when we fall. Give us the humility to let them. Restore the relationships that burnout has damaged. And where we have sacrificed our families on the altar of ministry, bring healing and forgiveness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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