The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst

Week 9: Chapter 8 — Brave Enough to Say No

Read Chapter 8 of The Best Yes. Key Scripture: Matthew 5:37; Colossians 4:6.

Saying no is an act of courage — and often an act of love. This chapter helps us find the words, the posture, and the backbone to say it well.

Discussion Questions

7 questions

1.Lysa frames saying no not as selfishness but as faithfulness — a way of protecting the yeses that truly belong to you. How does reframing no as an act of stewardship change how you feel about saying it?

2.She offers practical language for saying no graciously — acknowledging the request, expressing care for the person, and declining without over-explaining or apologizing excessively. Which of those elements do you find most difficult?

a.Do you tend to over-explain your no, as if you need to justify it?

b.Do you apologize so much that the no gets buried under the apology?

3.Lysa introduces the idea of the "small no" — the quiet, gracious decline that doesn't require a dramatic confrontation. Can you think of a small no you could offer this week that would protect something important? What's stopping you from giving it?

4.Jesus says in Matthew 5:37, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no." What does integrity look like in your yeses and no's? Are your commitments generally things you can and will follow through on?

5.Lysa discusses the guilt that follows a no, particularly when the person you declined is disappointed or pushes back. How do you handle someone's disappointment in your no? Do you tend to cave, to over-justify, or to hold your ground?

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Closing Prayer

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Father, I confess that I have often been a coward disguised as a people-pleaser. I have said yes when I meant no, and I have called it kindness when it was really fear. Thank You that Your love for me does not fluctuate with how useful I am to others. Give me the courage to let my yes be yes and my no be no — to speak with grace and clarity, without apologizing for the limits You have given me. Make my no an act of faithfulness to You and honest love for others. Amen.

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