Book Club Questions for The Common Rule

1.Earley opens with a candid account of his own burnout and anxiety as a young lawyer — a life that looked successful from the outside but was quietly falling apart on the inside. How did his story land with you? Did anything about his description of being 'buried' by his own life feel familiar?

2.Earley borrows the word 'liturgy' from church worship and applies it to everyday life. In your own words, what does he mean when he says that ordinary habits are 'liturgies' — and why does that word choice matter?

3.He argues that our habits are forming us toward some vision of 'the good life' whether we choose them intentionally or not. What vision of the good life do you think your current daily habits are forming you toward?

1.Earley insists that the physical act of kneeling matters — that posture is not just symbolic but formative. Had you thought much about the physical dimension of prayer before reading this chapter? How did his argument strike you?

2.He observes that one reason we don't pray is that we don't feel like it — and then he argues this is exactly backwards. We should pray in order to feel like praying. How does this challenge the way you typically approach (or avoid) prayer?

3.Earley suggests that kneeling is a 'full-body argument with yourself' — a way of reminding yourself, in your bones, who is Lord. Have you ever used a physical posture or action to reinforce a belief? What happened?

1.Earley points out that the average American eats more than half of their meals alone. Before reading this chapter, how conscious were you of where and with whom you eat? What does your typical lunch look like?

2.He argues that the table is one of the primary places where love becomes concrete — where we practice the slow, inefficient work of paying attention to another person. What in your schedule most often prevents you from eating with someone else?

3.Earley is careful to say this habit doesn't require a formal dinner party. It might be a coworker, a spouse, a neighbor. Why do you think he works so hard to lower the barrier? What does that tell us about the enemy of this habit — perfectionism, busyness, or something else?

1.Earley argues that our phones are not neutral tools but are designed by the world's most talented engineers to capture and hold our attention. Before reading this chapter, how much had you thought about the intentional design behind your phone's pull on you?

2.He describes what happens in that first moment of boredom or discomfort when we reach for our phone and then put it down instead: we are forced to sit with ourselves. What do you find when you sit with yourself without a screen? Is that a welcome or uncomfortable experience?

3.Earley connects compulsive phone-checking to a kind of anxiety — a need for reassurance, affirmation, or stimulation that the phone endlessly promises but never fully delivers. Do you recognize that pattern in yourself? What are you most often seeking when you pick up your phone?

1.Earley calls the first moments of the morning a 'prime time of formation' — a window when we are unusually open and receptive. Does this match your experience of early morning? What is typically the first voice you hear in your head when you wake up?

2.He observes that most of us reach for our phones within minutes — often seconds — of waking, and that the phone immediately serves us a feed of news, anxiety, and comparison. What has reaching for your phone first thing in the morning done to the tone of your days?

3.Earley does not prescribe a particular Bible reading plan or length of time — he simply insists that Scripture comes before the phone. Why do you think he keeps this habit so minimal? What does that design choice communicate about grace versus perfectionism?

1.Earley observes that modern life gives us more ways to 'communicate' than any generation in history, yet many people report feeling profoundly lonely. Why do you think more communication tools have produced less genuine connection?

2.He draws a careful distinction between communication (exchanging information) and conversation (genuinely knowing and being known by another person). Where does most of your 'connection' time fall on that spectrum?

3.Earley recommends one hour of intentional, undivided conversation with a friend each week — not a quick coffee while checking your phone, but a real exchange. Who is currently that person in your life? If no one comes to mind, what has made that kind of friendship difficult to cultivate?

1.Earley is not a media-abstainer — he argues for curated media, not no media. What is his core distinction between passive media consumption and active, intentional curation? How would you characterize your own media habits using those categories?

2.He describes the way our media feeds are designed to surface content that provokes outrage, envy, or anxiety because those emotions drive engagement. Can you think of a recent time when your media consumption left you feeling worse — more anxious, angry, or despairing — than before you started?

3.Philippians 4:8 is a remarkably concrete instruction: 'Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable — think about these things.' How does Earley use this verse, and what does it suggest about the connection between what we feed our minds and what we become?

1.Earley opens this chapter by noting that fasting is one of the spiritual disciplines Jesus assumes his followers will practice ('when you fast,' not 'if you fast,' Matthew 6:16). How prominent has fasting been in your own experience of the Christian life? Why do you think it has receded so much from ordinary practice?

2.He broadens the definition of fasting beyond just food — suggesting that any regular, intentional abstinence from a legitimate good for a spiritual purpose can function as a fast. What legitimate goods (food, social media, entertainment, comfort) might you fast from, and what might each reveal about your dependencies?

3.Earley argues that fasting is a way of 'arguing with yourself' about what you truly trust and love — that hunger (physical or otherwise) becomes a prayer, a space where we discover what we really reach for when we can't have what we want. Have you experienced that kind of spiritual clarifying through abstinence? What did you discover?

1.Earley observes that Sabbath is one of the Ten Commandments — and yet it is arguably the commandment that Christians in Western culture most openly and cheerfully ignore. Why do you think that is? What justifications do you most often hear — or use yourself?

2.He argues that busyness is not a neutral condition but a kind of theology — it communicates what we actually believe about our own importance, indispensability, and the source of our security. Do you recognize that 'theology of busyness' in yourself? What does your busyness say about what you trust?

3.Earley points out that God rested on the seventh day not because he was tired but as an act of completion and delight — and that our Sabbath participates in that same rhythm. How does that reframe Sabbath from something we earn (resting after we've finished) to something we practice by faith (resting before we've finished)?

1.Earley organizes the eight habits around the Great Commandment — love God, love neighbor — suggesting that the daily habits (prayer, Scripture, phone sabbath) tend toward love of God, while the weekly habits (friendship, curated media, fasting, Sabbath) tend toward love of neighbor and self. Does that organizing principle make sense to you? Does it hold up?

2.He argues that these habits are not ends in themselves but practices that make space for love — that we don't do them to become virtuous but to become free enough and present enough to love the people in front of us. How does that framing change your motivation for practicing them?

3.Which of the eight habits has the most natural traction in your life right now — one that already feels like a rhythm? Which one produces the most resistance?

1.Earley's title echoes the 'Rule of St. Benedict' — the sixth-century guide for communal monastic life. Why do you think he chose that framing? What does invoking that tradition say about his vision for how habits work best?

2.He argues that practicing a common rule with others — a spouse, a small group, a household — creates accountability, shared language, and the experience of 'we are doing this together.' Have you ever tried to adopt a spiritual discipline as a community? What was different about it compared to going it alone?

3.Earley is honest that these habits will not be practiced perfectly — that the goal is not flawless execution but faithful return after failure. How does the presence of a community change the way we handle failure and starting again?

1.Earley acknowledges that starting a rule of life is exciting but sustaining it is hard. What has been your experience with spiritual disciplines over time — do you tend to start strong and fade, or do you tend to never start at all? What does that pattern tell you?

2.He recommends starting with one or two habits rather than all eight at once, and letting the others follow as those become established. Which one or two habits do you sense God calling you to begin with, and why those?

3.Earley is clear that the goal is not perfectionism — missing a day or a week is not failure, and rigid self-condemnation is its own kind of trap. How do you typically handle falling off a new habit? How might you respond differently in light of what this book has taught you?

1.Looking back over the entire book: which chapter or habit most surprised you — either by resonating more deeply than you expected, or by producing more resistance than you anticipated? Why do you think that was?

2.At the beginning of this study, how would you have described the relationship between your habits and your spiritual life? How would you describe it now? What has genuinely shifted in your thinking?

3.Earley's central claim is that habits form us more than we form them. After twelve weeks of reflection, do you believe that more fully than you did at the start? Where has it proven true in your own experience this season?