11-Week Study & Discussion Guide

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way

by Lysa TerKeurst·78 discussion questions

Last updated August 16, 2026

Week 1 — FreeRead the Introduction of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passage: Genesis 3:1–19 (the entrance of brokenness into a good creation)

Discussion question your group will work through:

1.Lysa opens the book by describing the gut-punch feeling of a life that doesn't match our expectations. When did you first experience that feeling — the sense that things were not supposed to be this way? What triggered it?

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About This Study Guide

At a glance: this is a 11-week study and discussion guide for It's Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst, with 78 questions organized by reading assignment. Week 1 is free to read, with no card required.

Lysa TerKeurst wrote It's Not Supposed to Be This Way out of one of the most painful seasons of her life — a season marked by a devastating marriage crisis, a cancer diagnosis, and the kind of slow, grinding disappointment that makes you quietly wonder whether God is really as good as you've been told. Her core thesis is both honest and hopeful: the gaps between what we expected and what we've experienced are not evidence that God has abandoned us, but are instead the very places where He most wants to meet us. Our disappointments, she argues, can become divine appointments — if we learn to wrestle well between our faith and our feelings rather than running from the tension.

This study guide is designed for use over eleven weeks, either in a small group or as a personal devotional. Each week, read the assigned chapter before your group meets or before you sit down to journal. Then work through the discussion questions slowly — don't rush past the ones that sting a little. If you're using this guide in a group, create space for people to share honestly without pressure to perform spiritual maturity they don't yet feel. A closing prayer is included each week; read it aloud together, or adapt it in your own words. If you keep a journal, write down the one question each week that you most want to avoid — that's usually the one the Spirit most wants you to sit with.

By the end of this guide, you won't have a tidy explanation for every hard thing in your life. But you will likely find yourself with a larger view of God, a more honest vocabulary for your pain, and a deeper trust that being held by God in the dust is far better than standing apart from Him on solid ground. Lysa's journey doesn't promise you that everything will be fixed. It promises you something better: that you are not alone, and that the story is not over.

Introduction — It's Not Supposed to Be This Way

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Read the Introduction of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passage: Genesis 3:1–19 (the entrance of brokenness into a good creation)

Before diving into arguments or answers, Lysa opens by simply naming the ache — the feeling that life has veered from the story we thought we were living. Take a moment before you begin these questions to honestly name your own version of that ache.

2.She distinguishes between two kinds of disappointment: the kind that catches us off guard for a moment, and the kind that shatters us completely. Which of those two categories best describes what you are carrying into this study, and why does that distinction matter?

3.Lysa is unusually transparent from the very first pages about her own circumstances — marriage crisis, health struggles, public scrutiny. How does her willingness to be honest about her own brokenness affect your willingness to engage honestly with the material?

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11-Week Schedule

Chapter 1 — Dust and Things That Feel Devastating

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Read Chapter 1 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passage: Genesis 2:7; 3:19 ("from dust you are, and to dust you shall return")

1.Lysa draws deeply on the image of dust throughout this chapter — the fact that God formed humanity from the dust of the ground. Why do you think she starts here, with our material fragility, rather than with our spiritual dignity?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 2 — Why Would God Allow This?

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Read Chapter 2 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passages: Job 1–2; Romans 8:28

1."Why would God allow this?" is possibly the most common question people ask in pain. Have you ever asked it? If so, what were the circumstances — and did you ever feel like you received a satisfying answer?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 3 — Foiled Plans and the God Who Is Not Surprised

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Read Chapter 3 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passage: Proverbs 19:21; Jeremiah 29:11

1.Think about a plan you made — for your family, career, health, or relationships — that fell apart. What story were you telling yourself about the future that that plan was built on? What happened to that story when the plan failed?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 4 — God Would Not Have Allowed This If It Wasn't Going to Be Used for Good

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Read Chapter 4 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passages: Genesis 50:20; 2 Corinthians 1:3–5

1.Has anyone ever said to you, "God is going to use this for good"? In the moment they said it, did it help or hurt — and what made the difference?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 5 — When Feelings Become Beliefs

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Read Chapter 5 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passages: 2 Corinthians 10:5; Psalm 13

1.Lysa identifies a subtle but serious shift that can happen in suffering: our feelings about God begin to replace what we actually know to be true about God. Can you identify a time when a feeling — "God has abandoned me," "God is punishing me," "God doesn't care" — functioned more like a belief than an emotion for you?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 6 — What to Do When Feelings Become Circumstances

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Read Chapter 6 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passages: Isaiah 43:2; Philippians 4:6–7

1.Lysa writes about the way prolonged emotional pain can begin to shape our circumstances — the decisions we make from a place of hurt, the relationships we damage or withdraw from, the physical toll of sustained anxiety. Have you experienced this kind of spillover? What did it look like?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 7 — Two Kinds of Pain

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Read Chapter 7 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passages: James 1:2–4; Romans 5:3–5

1.Lysa draws a distinction between pain that is simply destructive and pain that — while still genuinely painful — is producing perseverance, character, and hope. How do you discern which kind you are in? Is it even possible to know in the middle of it?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 8 — Fighting for Your Faith

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Read Chapter 8 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passages: Ephesians 6:10–18; 1 Peter 5:8–9

1.Lysa writes about the spiritual dimension of suffering — the way an enemy who hates us will use real pain as a weapon to pull us away from God. Does thinking about suffering in spiritual warfare terms feel helpful, threatening, or strange to you? Why?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Chapter 9 — A Conversation About the Timing of God

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Read Chapter 9 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. Key passages: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11; Isaiah 40:31

1.Lysa describes the particular pain of waiting — not just suffering, but suffering without resolution, without a clear timeline. What are you waiting for right now, and how long have you been waiting? What has that waiting done to your faith?

+ 6 more questions in the full guide

Review & Reflection — The Story Is Not Over

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Review your notes and journal entries from all nine chapters of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way

1.When you opened this book, where were you? What was the specific disappointment or question that made you pick it up? Looking back now, how would you describe what has shifted — in your understanding, your emotions, or your faith — over the course of this study?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

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About the It's Not Supposed to Be This Way guide

How many weeks is the It's Not Supposed to Be This Way study guide?

This study guide covers It's Not Supposed to Be This Way in 11 weeks, with week-by-week discussion questions, reading references, and closing prayers for each session.

How many discussion questions are included?

The complete guide includes 78 discussion questions across 11 weeks — an average of 7 questions per week, designed for group conversation.

Can I use this guide for a book club?

Yes — the questions are written for group discussion and work well for small groups, book clubs, church studies, and couples reading together.

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