Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman

Week 1: Introduction — A Define the Relationship (DTR) Moment

Read the Introduction of Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman. Key passage: Luke 9:23 ("If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.")

Before any chapter challenges us, Idleman asks a single, unsettling question: are you a fan of Jesus, or are you a follower? Sit with that question honestly as you work through these questions.

Discussion Questions

7 questions

1.Idleman opens by describing what he calls a "DTR" — a Define the Relationship conversation. Have you ever had a DTR moment with Jesus, a point where you clearly defined what kind of relationship you actually have with him? Describe it, or describe why it has never happened.

2.The author distinguishes a "fan" as someone who is enthusiastic about Jesus but not committed to him — an admirer rather than a follower. In your own words, what is the sharpest difference between a fan and a follower as Idleman sets it up in the introduction?

3.Idleman suggests that many people sitting in churches every week are fans, not followers — and that they may not know it. How does that claim land with you? Does it feel like an exaggeration, or does it ring true from your own experience of church culture?

4.He points out that Jesus never seems to recruit followers by making the invitation easier — in fact he often makes it harder ("take up your cross daily"). Why do you think Jesus would do that? What does it tell us about what he is really after?

5.Idleman is honest that he has been a fan himself at certain points in his life, even as a pastor. What does his self-disclosure do for you as a reader? Does it make the book's challenge easier or harder to receive?

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Closing Prayer

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Lord Jesus, even before we have read very far, we sense that this book is going to ask us hard questions about where we really stand. We confess that it is easier to admire you than to follow you — easier to show up, sing the songs, and nod along than to deny ourselves and pick up a cross. Give us the courage to have a real DTR moment with you — not a polished answer we think you want to hear, but an honest reckoning with who we actually are. We want to be followers, not fans. Begin that work in us now. Amen.

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