Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud
Week 9: Chapter 8 — Adulthood: Overcoming the Obstacles to Growing Up
Read Chapter 8 of Changes That Heal. Key Scriptures: Hebrews 5:12–14; Ephesians 4:13–15; Romans 12:2.
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Cloud identifies the specific obstacles — internal and relational — that keep us perpetually adolescent, and he charts a practical course toward genuine emotional and spiritual adulthood.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Cloud identifies several common obstacles to becoming an adult: fear of parental disapproval, guilt over taking ownership of one's own values and beliefs, inability to tolerate the aloneness that comes with adulthood, and the comfort of staying small. Which obstacle feels most personally challenging to you?
2.Hebrews 5:12–14 rebukes Christians who should be teachers but still need milk — immature not because they haven't been Christians long enough, but because they haven't practiced and exercised their faith. How is spiritual maturity connected to the kind of adulthood Cloud describes? Why can someone be a long-time believer and still be an emotional child?
3.Cloud talks about 'triangulation' — the pattern of bringing a third party into a conflict rather than addressing the other person directly. Have you used this pattern? What does it cost the relationship, and what does it reveal about the person doing it?
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