Discussion question your group will work through:
1.Elliot describes herself as a woman with "strong feelings" who is writing for others who also have strong feelings. What does she say she is NOT doing — and what is she actually trying to accomplish in this book?
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About This Study Guide
Elisabeth Elliot wrote Passion and Purity out of her own experience of loving Jim Elliot — a man she was not sure she would ever marry — and waiting on God through years of uncertainty, longing, and disciplined hope. The book's central argument is simple but countercultural: the passions God gives us are not meant to be suppressed or indulged, but offered back to Him as an act of trust and worship. Using her own love story as the primary illustration, Elliot weaves together personal memoir, letters exchanged with Jim, Scripture, poetry, and practical counsel to show that sexual purity is not merely a rule to follow but a posture of the heart — one that flows from the conviction that God is Lord of every desire, every relationship, and every unanswered prayer.
This study guide is designed for 13 weeks of individual or small-group engagement. Each week, read the assigned chapter (or chapters) slowly — perhaps twice — and come to your time of discussion or journaling with an open, honest heart. Many of the questions will ask you to name specific things: desires you have been reluctant to surrender, patterns you recognize in yourself, fears that drive your decisions about relationships. Take time to write before you speak. The most fruitful discussions will happen when people are willing to be specific rather than general. If you are using this guide in a group, agree at the outset to hold one another's honesty in confidence.
By the end of this study, you will have thought carefully about what it means to treat romantic desire as a gift to be stewarded rather than a need to be met. You will have considered what integrity, honor, commitment, and servanthood look like in the context of dating and singleness. And you will have been invited — repeatedly — to bring the whole of your longing for love before the God who knows that longing better than you do, and who is, as Elliot believed, entirely trustworthy with it.
13-Week Schedule
- Week 1Introduction — "Is There a Place for Passion?"7 questions
- Week 2Chapters 3–4 — "Why Wait?" and The Corruption of Love7 questions
- Week 3Chapters 5–6 — Singleness and the Will of God7 questions
- Week 4Chapters 7–8 — Integrity in Relationships7 questions
- Week 5Chapters 9–10 — Honor and Servanthood7 questions
- Week 6Chapters 11–12 — Letters, Longing, and the Discipline of Desire7 questions
- Week 7Chapters 13–14 — Commitment and the Fear of It7 questions
- Week 8Chapters 15–16 — The Body, Sex, and Holiness7 questions
- Week 9Chapters 17–18 — Trusting God with Unanswered Questions7 questions
- Week 10Chapters 19–20 — True Stories: Letters from Readers7 questions
- Week 11Chapters 21–22 — Marriage, Preparation, and the Purpose of Love7 questions
- Week 12Chapters 23–24 and Conclusion — The Surrendered Life7 questions
- Week 13Review & Reflection — The Whole Journey8 questions
Week 1: Introduction — "Is There a Place for Passion?"
Free sampleRead the Introduction and Chapters 1–2 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:19–20; Romans 12:1–2.
1.Elliot describes herself as a woman with "strong feelings" who is writing for others who also have strong feelings. What does she say she is NOT doing — and what is she actually trying to accomplish in this book?
2.She argues that the modern world offers two bad options for handling desire: repression or indulgence. In your own words, what is wrong with each approach, and what is the third way she proposes?
3.How does Elliot use the phrase "offering up" a desire? What does she mean by it, and why does she think it matters whether we use that language versus simply "giving up" a desire?
4.The book is structured around her real relationship with Jim Elliot, including actual letters between them. How does knowing this is a true story affect the way you receive her counsel? Does it make it more or less persuasive to you?
a.What details in the opening chapters make the story feel real and not idealized?
b.Are there ways in which their story feels so unique that you struggle to apply it to your own life?
5.Elliot quotes Jim Elliot's famous line: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." How does that logic apply to the question of surrendering romantic desire to God?
6.Romans 12:1 calls us to offer our bodies as "living sacrifices." Elliot argues that this includes sexual and romantic desires. Does that feel like good news or a hard word to you? Why?
7.What is one assumption about romance, dating, or desire that you brought to this book — something you have never questioned — that these opening chapters begin to challenge?
Week 2: Chapters 3–4 — "Why Wait?" and The Corruption of Love
Read Chapters 3–4 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Song of Solomon 2:7; 1 Thessalonians 4:3–7.
1.Elliot argues that "waiting" is not passive but active — it is a form of loving. How does she make that case? Do you find it convincing?
Week 3: Chapters 5–6 — Singleness and the Will of God
Read Chapters 5–6 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Matthew 6:33; Philippians 4:11–13.
1.Elliot herself experienced prolonged singleness (and later, widowhood). How does her lived experience shape the tone of her counsel in these chapters? Does she sound sympathetic, or does she seem to minimize the pain of unwanted singleness?
Week 4: Chapters 7–8 — Integrity in Relationships
Read Chapters 7–8 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Proverbs 11:3; Matthew 5:37.
1.How does Elliot define integrity in the context of relationships? How is her definition broader than simply "not lying"?
Week 5: Chapters 9–10 — Honor and Servanthood
Read Chapters 9–10 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Romans 12:10; Mark 10:42–45.
1.What does Elliot mean by "honor" in the context of a romantic relationship? How is it different from simply respecting someone?
Week 6: Chapters 11–12 — Letters, Longing, and the Discipline of Desire
Read Chapters 11–12 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Psalm 37:4–5; Lamentations 3:24–26.
1.What strikes you most about the letters between Jim and Elisabeth? What do they reveal about the nature of their love and their shared commitment to God?
Week 7: Chapters 13–14 — Commitment and the Fear of It
Read Chapters 13–14 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Joshua 24:15; Ruth 1:16–17.
1.Why does Elliot think commitment has become so frightening in contemporary culture? What has changed culturally, and what are the spiritual roots of the fear?
Week 8: Chapters 15–16 — The Body, Sex, and Holiness
Read Chapters 15–16 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:15–20; Genesis 2:24–25.
1.How does Elliot's theology of the body differ from both Victorian prudishness (the body is bad) and modern permissiveness (the body is neutral)? What is her actual view?
Week 9: Chapters 17–18 — Trusting God with Unanswered Questions
Read Chapters 17–18 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Proverbs 3:5–6; Isaiah 55:8–9.
1.What does Elliot say about the relationship between trusting God and understanding His ways? Does she think we need to understand before we can trust?
Week 10: Chapters 19–20 — True Stories: Letters from Readers
Read Chapters 19–20 of Passion and Purity. These chapters draw on letters from readers and true stories of others navigating love, singleness, and surrender.
1.What do the reader letters that Elliot responds to reveal about the kinds of struggles most common among people trying to live out the principles she describes? Do any of them sound like a question you have asked?
Week 11: Chapters 21–22 — Marriage, Preparation, and the Purpose of Love
Read Chapters 21–22 of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Ephesians 5:25–33; Genesis 1:27–28.
1.How does Elliot describe the purpose of marriage? Is it primarily about companionship, personal fulfillment, or something else? What does she say it is for?
Week 12: Chapters 23–24 and Conclusion — The Surrendered Life
Read Chapters 23–24 and the Conclusion of Passion and Purity. Primary Scripture: Luke 9:23–24; John 12:24–25.
1.How does Elliot bring together the various threads of the book in these final chapters? What does she say is the unifying theme beneath all of the specific counsel she has given?
Week 13: Review & Reflection — The Whole Journey
No new reading this week. Review your notes, journal entries, and any passages you marked throughout Passion and Purity.
1.Which chapter or section of Passion and Purity had the greatest impact on you? What made it land so deeply — was it the argument, the story, the Scripture, or something personal it touched in you?
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This study guide covers Passion and Purity in 13 weeks, with chapter-by-chapter discussion questions, reading references, and closing prayers for each session.
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The complete guide includes 92 discussion questions across 13 weeks — an average of 7 questions per week, designed for group conversation.
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