I Want to Trust You, but I Don't

1.Lysa describes the experience of sensing that "something feels off" in a relationship even when you can't point to a single dramatic event. Have you had that experience? What did it feel like, and how did you respond to it?

1.Lysa presents eleven relational red flags to help readers identify why they're feeling uneasy. Before you look back at the list, which one or two flags surfaced most strongly as you read? Why did those particular ones land hardest?

1.Lysa works toward a more precise definition of trust in this chapter. In your own words, how would you now define trust differently than you might have before reading this? What nuances did the chapter add?

1.Lysa makes the striking observation that we can end up having more faith in our fears coming true than in God coming through for us. Have you ever caught yourself in that pattern? What fear were you treating as a near-certainty?

1.Lysa introduces the science behind betrayal's impact — explaining how the brain and nervous system are genuinely altered by experiences of being let down by someone you trusted. What was most surprising or validating to you about what she shared?

1.Lysa offers a list of characteristics that are necessary for trust to be genuinely rebuilt in a fractured relationship. Before reviewing the list, what would you have said are the non-negotiables for trust repair? Did her list match yours, or did it challenge your thinking?

1.Lysa draws a distinction between boundaries (which are meant to make relationship possible) and walls (which are meant to prevent relationship entirely). In your own experience, have you been better at one than the other? How has that played out?

1.Lysa describes cynicism not as wisdom but as a wound in disguise — a protective shell that actually prevents the healing it's trying to provide. Do you agree with that characterization? What does cynicism feel like from the inside — protective, honest, exhausted, or something else?

1.Lysa names the question many readers are quietly asking: "If God let this happen, can He even be trusted?" What is your version of that question — the specific situation or loss that has made trusting God feel most difficult?

1.Lysa describes how betrayal can shatter not just a relationship but a whole belief system — your assumptions about people, safety, the world, and God. What beliefs in your own life have been shaken or shattered by what you've experienced?

1.Lysa draws a distinction between moving on (which can mean denying or minimizing the pain) and moving forward (which means carrying what happened while still stepping ahead). How is that distinction meaningful to you personally?

1.Lysa concludes by describing a peace that is not contingent on unpredictable people, circumstances, or experiences. What has your peace been contingent on in the past? What happens to you internally when those contingencies don't hold?

1.Looking back at the entire book, which chapter or concept had the most significant impact on you — the one that genuinely shifted something in how you think or feel? What made it land so hard?