The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
Week 1: Introduction — Likes, Loves, and the Love of God
Read the Introduction of The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis.
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Lewis opens by drawing a crucial distinction that will shape everything that follows — between 'need-love' and 'gift-love,' and between the loves we naturally feel and the Divine Love that stands above them. Take a moment before discussing to consider: what assumptions about love do you bring into this book?
Discussion Questions
8 questions1.Lewis begins by distinguishing between 'need-love' and 'gift-love.' In your own words, what is the difference between the two?
a.Can you think of a recent example of each type of love from your own life?
b.Lewis says that need-love should not be despised — why not? Do you agree?
2.Lewis also introduces a third category: 'appreciative love.' How does this differ from both need-love and gift-love, and why does he think it matters?
3.Lewis distinguishes between 'nearness by likeness' to God and 'nearness by approach' to God. What does he mean, and why does he argue that the first can actually be spiritually dangerous?
4.He warns early on that the natural loves can become 'demonic' when they are elevated to the position that only God should occupy. Does this surprise you? Have you ever seen a good love become harmful in this way?
5.Lewis says that God is love, but that love is not God — and that confusing the two is a serious error. Why do you think this confusion is so easy to make in our culture today?
6.He also introduces the idea of 'appreciative pleasures' versus 'need pleasures.' How does the distinction between these two shape the way Lewis will talk about love throughout the book?
7.How does Lewis's framework of four loves challenge or confirm the way you have thought about love up to this point? What category of love do you think you understand least?
8.Lewis grounds his entire discussion in the Christian conviction that God himself is love and that all human loves are, in some sense, reflections of — or participations in — that divine love. How does that theological foundation change the stakes of this conversation for you personally?
Closing Prayer
Lord, we confess that we often treat love as though it belongs entirely to us — as though our affections, our friendships, and our longings are our own possession. Thank you for reminding us that every good love is a gift that flows from you, the source of all love. As we begin this study, open our eyes to the loves in our lives — both the beautiful and the broken. Teach us the difference between needing you and approaching you, and draw us ever closer to yourself. Amen.
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