The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
Week 4: Friendship (Philia)
Read Chapter 3 of The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis ("Friendship"). Key theme verse: Proverbs 17:17; John 15:13–15.
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Lewis calls friendship 'the least biological, organic, instinctive, gregarious, and necessary' of the loves — and yet he considers it the most fully human and, in many ways, the most glorious. This chapter is a great gift to anyone who has ever wondered whether their deepest friendships are somehow too good to be ordinary.
Discussion Questions
8 questions1.Lewis famously describes the beginning of friendship as the moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too?' — the discovery of a shared insight, vision, or interest. Can you recall a friendship that began in something like this way? What was the 'What! You too?' moment?
2.He distinguishes sharply between friendship and companionship (the fellowship of people who simply do things together). Why does he insist on this distinction, and do you think it holds?
3.Lewis argues that true friendship is 'about something' — it is always oriented toward a shared truth, vision, or love that stands outside both friends. How does this 'third thing' model of friendship differ from the modern therapeutic model of friendship as primarily emotional support and self-disclosure?
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