Where Is God When It Hurts? by Philip Yancey
Week 12: Chapter 11 — How to Help a Person in Pain
Read Chapter 11 of Where Is God When It Hurts? Key Scripture: Romans 12:15; Galatians 6:2; Job 2:11–13
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Yancey turns finally to the practical question of how we show up for people who are suffering — and discovers that the most important things are often the hardest to do.
Discussion Questions
8 questions1.Yancey argues that the most common mistake people make when trying to help someone in pain is talking too much — rushing to explain, to fix, or to offer theological comfort before the person feels genuinely heard. Have you been guilty of this? Have you been on the receiving end of it? What was the effect?
2.Read Job 2:11–13. Job's friends sit with him in silence for seven days before they open their mouths. Yancey holds this up as a model of compassionate presence. What is it about sustained, silent, non-fixing presence that is so difficult for most people — especially people of faith?
3.Yancey draws on the example of people who have done this well — who have entered into another person's suffering without flinching or fleeing or moralizing. What distinguishes those people? What do they have that others lack?
a.Is the ability to sit with suffering a natural gift, or can it be cultivated? If it can be cultivated, how?
b.What role does our own experience of suffering play in our ability to be present with others in pain?
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