Week 9: Chapter 13 — A Wife's Greatest Desire and a Husband's Greatest Need in Conflict

1.Eggerichs observes that couples often argue in ways that are self-defeating — using the very tactics that most reliably trigger their spouse's deepest wound. What do you tend to do during conflict that you know, on some level, makes things worse rather than better?

2.The author draws attention to the way a husband often hears a wife's emotional intensity as contempt, even when she is not feeling contemptuous at all — and how a wife often hears a husband's calm withdrawal as indifference, even when he is trying to protect the relationship. How can you begin to 'decode' your spouse's conflict behavior more charitably?

3.Proverbs 15:1 says, 'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.' How does this ancient wisdom connect to what Eggerichs is saying about the mechanics of marital conflict?