Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker
Week 1: Introduction — Every Man's Battle, Every Man's Choice
Read the Introduction and Part One overview of Every Man's Battle. Key Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:18-20; Job 31:1.
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Before the battle can be won, it must be honestly named. This week, allow yourself to sit with the authors' opening confession and ask whether you recognize your own story in theirs.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Arterburn opens the book with a frank admission of his own sexual sin and its consequences. What was your emotional reaction when you read his story — relief, discomfort, judgment, recognition? What does that reaction tell you about your own relationship with this topic?
2.The authors argue that sexual impurity is not a problem limited to a few weak or broken men — it is described as 'every man's battle.' Do you agree or disagree with that framing?
a.What cultural messages have you absorbed that say otherwise — that this is only a problem for certain types of men?
b.How does calling it a universal battle change the way you feel about your own struggle?
3.The book immediately establishes that God's standard is complete sexual purity — not merely avoiding adultery, but guarding the eyes and mind. How does Jesus' statement in Matthew 5:28 (that looking at a woman with lust is adultery of the heart) sit with you? Does it feel like an impossible standard or a liberating one?
4.Fred Stoeker shares how his pattern of sexual sin developed gradually over many years before he confronted it. Can you trace a similar gradual drift in your own life — small compromises that over time added up to something larger? You don't need to share details, but consider: when did the drift begin?
5.The authors distinguish between men who are in 'the battle' and men who have given up fighting entirely. Where would you honestly place yourself on that spectrum right now?
6.The introduction frames sexual purity as something chosen and fought for, not simply received as a spiritual gift. How does that shift in framing — from passive to active — challenge or encourage you?
7.The book is explicitly written for Christian men who believe the Bible and want to honor God. How does the gospel — Christ's death, your forgiveness, your identity as a 'temple of the Holy Spirit' (1 Corinthians 6:19) — form the foundation for everything the authors will ask of you in the weeks ahead?
Closing Prayer
Father, we come to you at the beginning of this journey with honesty we have been afraid to offer. We confess that this battle is real — and that for many of us, we have been losing it quietly for years. Thank you that you already know every hidden thing and that your response is not disgust but an outstretched hand. We are temples of your Holy Spirit; forgive us for treating that lightly. Give us courage to keep reading, keep journaling, and keep showing up — and remind us this week that the battle belongs to you. Amen.
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