Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker
Week 11: Part Five — For Married Men: Protecting Your Marriage
Read Part Five, Chapters 20–21 of Every Man's Battle. Key Scripture: Malachi 2:15-16; Ephesians 5:25-28.
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These chapters address the married man with particular urgency — your purity is not just a personal matter but a direct act of covenant faithfulness to your wife. Let the weight of that responsibility settle as you read.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.The authors describe marriage as a 'garden' that must be cultivated and protected — not just from external threats but from the internal weeds of neglect, impurity, and emotional withdrawal. How does the garden metaphor shape the way you think about your responsibility to your marriage?
2.Arterburn and Stoeker discuss the concept of 'emotional affairs' — the way a man can begin to invest emotional energy in a woman outside his marriage (a coworker, a friend, an online connection) without physical contact, but in a way that drains the marriage nonetheless. Have you ever found yourself in a friendship with a woman that was drawing more emotional energy than your marriage? How did you handle it?
3.The book reiterates that sexual purity within marriage includes not just avoiding external sin but actively investing in your wife's emotional and sexual fulfillment. The authors are calling men to be generous, not just faithful. What is the difference between those two postures in practice?
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