Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa TerKeurst
Week 10: Chapter 9 — When You've Tried Everything
Read Chapter 9 of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. Key passages to consider: Matthew 18:15–17; Romans 12:18; Micah 6:8.
Previewing Week 10 of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes
Read 3 of 8 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 14-week guide when you’re ready.
This chapter is for the reader who has tried — really tried — and is beginning to wonder if trying differently will produce a different result.
Discussion Questions
8 questions1.Lysa opens this chapter with compassion for people who feel like they've done everything "right" and the relationship still hasn't changed. What is the emotional state she's describing? Do you recognize it?
2.She walks through the Matthew 18 process — go to the person alone, then with witnesses, then involve the broader community — as a framework for exhausting relational options before giving up. Had you previously understood this passage as applicable to personal relationships, or only to formal church discipline?
3.Lysa makes the point that we cannot change another person — we can only change what we do, say, and accept. At what point does continuing to try to change someone else cross over from love into control? What is the difference?
a.What have you been doing in a particular relationship that is more about control than genuine care?
b.What would it feel like to surrender the outcome of that relationship to God?