Relationship Goals by Michael Todd
Week 5: Chapter 4 — DTR (Define the Relationship)
Read Chapter 4 of Relationship Goals by Michael Todd.
Previewing Week 5 of Relationship Goals
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 10-week guide when you’re ready.
Unclear relationships produce unclear outcomes — Todd's challenge to 'define the relationship' is really a challenge to have the honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations we keep putting off.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Todd is famous for using the acronym DTR — 'Define the Relationship.' Why do you think so many people are afraid to have that conversation? What is the emotional risk that makes clarity feel dangerous?
2.He maps out what healthy relational progression looks like — from friendship to courtship to engagement to marriage — and argues that skipping or rushing stages causes problems. Which stage do you think most people are most likely to rush, and why?
3.Todd warns against 'exclusive but undefined' relationships where two people are functionally together but neither has had the direct conversation. Have you ever been in that situation — or watched a friend live there? What kept the conversation from happening?
a.What is the cost of living in that kind of ambiguity — for you emotionally, spiritually, and practically?
b.What would it take for you to initiate that kind of honest conversation, or to invite one from the other person?