The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell
Week 3: Chapter 2 — Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
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Words carry enormous power — they can build a child up for a lifetime or leave wounds that last just as long, so this week we consider what we are actually saying to the children in our care.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.For a child whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation, verbal expressions of love, encouragement, and praise are the primary way they feel valued and secure. Can you identify a child in your life who seems to light up at verbal praise or wilt under verbal criticism? Describe what that looks like.
2.The authors distinguish between praise that is general ("Good job!") and affirmation that is specific and sincere ("I noticed how patient you were with your little brother just now — that was really kind"). Why does specificity matter? How does a child experience the difference between hollow praise and genuine affirmation?
3.Chapman and Campbell warn against words that wound — criticism, sarcasm, belittling, and harsh correction — and note that for a child with this love language, negative words can be especially devastating and long-lasting. Reflect honestly: What is the ratio of affirming words to critical words in your typical interactions with the children in your life?
a.What makes it easy to slip into criticism and correction as a default mode with children?
b.What practical steps could you take to increase the frequency of genuine, specific affirmation?
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