The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

Week 7: Chapter 6 — Embracing the Other

Read Chapter 6 of The Meaning of Marriage. Key Scripture: Ephesians 5:21–33; Galatians 3:28.

Keller takes on one of the most controversial and misunderstood passages in the Bible — and argues that the biblical vision of gender and marriage roles is not oppressive but liberating.

Discussion Questions

7 questions

1.Keller acknowledges that Ephesians 5 — with its language of wives submitting and husbands being the 'head' — is deeply offensive to many modern readers. Before reading his argument, what was your own reaction to this passage, and how has the chapter shaped or shifted your thinking?

2.Keller argues that Paul's command in Ephesians 5 must be read in the context of verse 21 — 'submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ' — and that this mutual submission is the foundation on which the specific roles of verse 22 onwards are built. How does this context change the meaning of what follows?

3.Keller draws a crucial distinction between 'sameness' (having no differences) and 'equality' (having equal dignity and worth), arguing that the Bible affirms the latter but not the former. How does conflating sameness with equality lead to confusion, and how does distinguishing them help?

a.Can you think of other relationships — parent/child, employer/employee — where there is both equality of dignity and a legitimate asymmetry of roles?

b.How does the relationship between the Father and the Son within the Trinity illustrate this combination?

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Closing Prayer

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