14-Week Study & Discussion Guide

Untangle Your Emotions

by Jennie Allen·112 discussion questions

Lead your group with the discussion already prepared: a reading plan, thoughtful questions, and printable handouts for everyone.

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Week 1 — FreeRead the Introduction of Untangle Your Emotions.

Discussion question your group will work through:

1.Jennie opens the book by describing the cultural and even religious messages many of us have absorbed about emotions — things like "don't let your feelings get the best of you" or the implicit message that strong feelings are a sign of weak faith. Which of these messages have you heard most often, and where did they come from (family, church, culture)?

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About This Study Guide

At a glance: this is a 14-week study and discussion guide for Untangle Your Emotions by Jennie Allen, with 112 questions organized by reading assignment. Week 1 is free to read, with no card required.

In Untangle Your Emotions, New York Times bestselling author Jennie Allen offers what she calls a revolutionary path out of emotional confusion and into honest, life-giving connection with God and others. Drawing on neuroscience, biblical theology, and her own vulnerable story, Allen argues that our feelings are not the enemy — they are data. Rather than stuffing, dismissing, or being controlled by emotions, she introduces a five-step process to help readers notice, name, and navigate what they feel. The book's central claim is deceptively simple and deeply freeing: feelings aren't something to fix; they are something to feel. God, she reminds us, is not uncomfortable with our emotions — He created them.

This study guide is designed to walk you through Untangle Your Emotions one chapter at a time, either on your own or in a small group. Each week, read the assigned chapter before you gather, then work through the discussion questions — some will check your comprehension of Jennie's arguments, some will invite honest personal reflection, and some will push you to connect her ideas to the gospel and your own walk with God. Consider keeping a journal nearby as you read; many of the most important moments in this book happen in the quiet where you finally name something you've been carrying for years.

By the end of this guide, you will have a working vocabulary for your inner life, a repeatable process for engaging your emotions rather than running from them, and — most importantly — a deeper confidence that the God who made you with a heart full of feelings is the same God who meets you in the middle of them. Whether you tend to overflow with emotion or have spent decades keeping feelings at arm's length, this book was written for you.

Week 1: Introduction — Why We Need to Untangle

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Read the Introduction of Untangle Your Emotions.

Before diving into Jennie's framework, take a moment to consider what you actually believe about your own emotions — are they trustworthy guides, dangerous liabilities, or something in between?

1.Jennie opens the book by describing the cultural and even religious messages many of us have absorbed about emotions — things like "don't let your feelings get the best of you" or the implicit message that strong feelings are a sign of weak faith. Which of these messages have you heard most often, and where did they come from (family, church, culture)?

2.She makes a distinction between being "emotional" and being "emotionally healthy." In your own words, what is the difference? Do you tend to identify as an emotional person or as someone who keeps feelings at a distance?

3.Jennie is candid from the start about her own struggles with emotional avoidance. What does her honesty about her story stir up in you — relief, skepticism, curiosity? Why?

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All 14 weeks, 112 questions, closing prayers, and printable weekly handouts — plus the full PDF — so your prep is reading it over, not writing it from scratch.

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See the questions, reading assignment, and space for notes your group can use at the table. The complete guide includes a printable handout for every week.

Week 1 sample · first 3 questions

Group handout: Untangle Your Emotions

Week 1 sample · first 3 questions. Scroll to read the sample.

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Week 2: Chapter 1 — Feelings Are Not the Enemy

All 8 questions →

Read Chapter 1 of Untangle Your Emotions.

1.Jennie argues that the belief "feelings are sinful" is a myth that has done real damage in Christian communities. Where do you think this myth comes from — bad theology, cultural stoicism, misread Bible verses? What has been its fruit in your own faith community?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 3: Chapter 2 — Stuffed, Spewed, or Somewhere in Between

All 8 questions →

Read Chapter 2 of Untangle Your Emotions.

1.Jennie describes two common unhealthy patterns: stuffing emotions down (suppression) and spewing them out (explosion). Which pattern do you more naturally default to? Do different emotions bring out different patterns in you?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 4: Chapter 3 — Notice

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Read Chapter 3 of Untangle Your Emotions. This is the first step of Jennie's five-step framework.

1."Notice" is Step 1 of Jennie's five-step process. Why does she think noticing is harder than it sounds? What gets in the way of simply pausing to acknowledge that something is happening inside you?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 5: Chapter 4 — Name

All 8 questions →

Read Chapter 4 of Untangle Your Emotions. This is Step 2 of Jennie's five-step framework.

1.Jennie introduces the concept of "emotional granularity" — the ability to distinguish between emotions with precision rather than labeling everything as simply "stressed" or "fine." Why does specificity matter? What is the difference, practically, between knowing you're "sad" versus knowing you're "grieving a lost friendship"?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 6: Chapter 5 — Feel

All 8 questions →

Read Chapter 5 of Untangle Your Emotions. This is Step 3 of Jennie's five-step framework.

1.Jennie's central thesis arrives most forcefully in this step: "Feelings aren't something to fix; they are something to feel." Why is this so countercultural — both in the secular world and in Christian culture specifically?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 7: Chapter 6 — Share

All 8 questions →

Read Chapter 6 of Untangle Your Emotions. This is Step 4 of Jennie's five-step framework.

1.Jennie argues that emotions are meant to move us toward connection — with God and with others. She calls this the "social" function of emotion. How does this reframe the way you think about vulnerability? Is sharing feelings a spiritual obligation, a relational gift, or something else entirely?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 8: Chapter 7 — Choose

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Read Chapter 7 of Untangle Your Emotions. This is Step 5 of Jennie's five-step framework.

1.Jennie's fifth step is "Choose." Why is it important that this comes last — after Notice, Name, Feel, and Share — rather than first? What goes wrong when we jump straight to "what should I do" without doing the preceding steps?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 9: Chapter 8 — The Emotions of Jesus

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Read Chapter 8 of Untangle Your Emotions. Key passages: John 11:35; Matthew 26:36–39; Mark 10:21; Luke 10:21; John 2:13–17.

1.Jennie walks through multiple scenes of Jesus experiencing emotion — joy, grief, anger, compassion, anguish. Which of these depictions of Jesus surprised you most, or felt most unfamiliar compared to how you typically picture Him?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 10: Chapter 9 — When Emotions Lie

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Read Chapter 9 of Untangle Your Emotions.

1.Jennie has spent much of the book defending the value of emotions — so why is this chapter important? What would be incomplete or even dangerous about a view of emotions that never acknowledged their capacity to mislead us?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 11: Chapter 10 — Emotional Maturity and Deep Connection

All 8 questions →

Read Chapter 10 of Untangle Your Emotions.

1.Jennie defines emotional maturity not as feeling less but as responding more wisely. How does that definition align with or challenge what you thought emotional maturity looked like before reading this book?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 12: Chapter 11 — God Feels Too

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Read Chapter 11 of Untangle Your Emotions. Key passages: Zephaniah 3:17; Psalm 103:8; John 3:16; Romans 8:26.

1.Jennie grounds the entire case for emotional engagement in the doctrine of the imago Dei — we are made in the image of a God who grieves, delights, is jealous, and loves. How does this theological anchor change the stakes of the conversation? If God feels, what does it say about our feelings when we suppress them?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 13: Chapter 12 — A New Way to Live

All 8 questions →

Read Chapter 12 of Untangle Your Emotions (and any Conclusion/Epilogue).

1.As Jennie concludes the book, she paints a picture of what life looks like when emotions are consistently noticed, named, felt, shared, and responded to wisely. How is that picture different from your life at the beginning of this book? What has shifted in your thinking, even if your habits haven't fully caught up yet?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

Week 14: Review & Reflection — Looking Back Across the Whole Journey

All 8 questions →

No new reading this week. Flip back through your notes, journals, and underlined passages from Untangle Your Emotions as you prepare for this final conversation.

1.Which chapter or concept in *Untangle Your Emotions* had the most impact on you personally? What was it about that particular idea that landed so hard?

+ 7 more questions in the full guide

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About the Untangle Your Emotions guide

How many weeks is the Untangle Your Emotions study guide?

This study guide covers Untangle Your Emotions in 14 weeks, with week-by-week discussion questions, reading references, and closing prayers for each session.

How many discussion questions are included?

The complete guide includes 112 discussion questions across 14 weeks — an average of 8 questions per week, designed for group conversation.

Can I use this guide for a book club?

Yes — the questions are written for group discussion and work well for small groups, book clubs, church studies, and couples reading together.

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How are the discussion questions different from what I'd find online?

Free discussion questions online tend to be surface-level — "What did you think of chapter 3?" Our guides include questions designed to spark real conversation: questions that connect the book's ideas to personal experience, draw out different perspectives, and help group members open up and share honestly.