Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Week 8: Chapter 7 — Boundaries and Your Family
Read Chapter 7 of Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
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Family is where boundaries are first formed — and for many of us, it is also where they are most consistently violated. This chapter may bring up strong emotions; approach it with both honesty and compassion for yourself and your family.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Cloud and Townsend describe several problematic patterns in families of origin: hostile control, manipulative control, the "smothering" parent, and the emotionally distant parent. Which of these patterns resonates most with your experience, or the experience of someone close to you?
2.The authors use the concept of "leaving and cleaving" from Genesis 2:24 as the biblical model for healthy adult autonomy. What does it mean to "leave" your family of origin emotionally and functionally, even while still loving them?
3.Cloud and Townsend describe adults who are still emotionally "owned" by their parents — who cannot make decisions, express opinions, or structure their lives without parental approval or interference. What does staying in that position cost an adult child? What does it cost the relationship?
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