Cherish by Gary Thomas
Week 11: Chapter 10 — When Cherishing Is Hard
Read Chapter 10 of Cherish by Gary Thomas. Key passages: 2 Corinthians 12:9–10; James 1:2–4.
Previewing Week 11 of Cherish
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 13-week guide when you’re ready.
Thomas does not shy away from the harder realities of marriage — the seasons of illness, disappointment, sin, and distance — and this chapter is his most pastoral, asking what it means to cherish when cherishing feels impossible.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Thomas acknowledges that there are seasons in marriage when cherishing feels not just difficult but impossible — when your spouse's behavior, health struggles, or your own emotional state make warmth feel far away. How have you experienced this in your own marriage? What did you do with it?
2.He makes an important distinction between a marriage that is struggling and a marriage that is unsafe — acknowledging that the call to cherish does not mean staying silent in the face of abuse, addiction, or ongoing betrayal. How does the call to cherish relate to the reality of hard situations requiring courageous action rather than passive endurance?
3.Thomas turns to suffering as a context for cherishing — arguing that the willingness to stay, to care, and to serve during a spouse's suffering is one of the most profound forms of cherishing available to us. Have you walked through a season of suffering with your spouse? What did you learn about yourself and about cherishing in that season?
a.What made it hard? What sustained you?
b.Looking back, what would you do differently?