Cherish by Gary Thomas
Week 3: Chapter 2 — Cherishing Your Spouse in a World That Doesn't Deserve It
Read Chapter 2 of Cherish by Gary Thomas. Key passages: Romans 5:8; Colossians 3:12–14.
Previewing Week 3 of Cherish
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 13-week guide when you’re ready.
This chapter confronts one of the most common reasons we stop cherishing — our spouses are imperfect, sometimes deeply so — and asks us to consider what love looks like when it is not deserved.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Thomas argues that the gospel is the most powerful engine for cherishing a flawed spouse, because God himself loved us while we were still his enemies (Romans 5:8). Does this truth feel like motivation or like a burden right now? Why?
2.He is honest about the reality that some spouses are genuinely difficult to cherish — that they have habits, wounds, or behaviors that make tenderness hard. How do you hold together the call to cherish with the reality of a spouse's failures without either excusing the failures or abandoning the call?
3.Thomas makes the point that we often treat our spouses according to what they *deserve* rather than according to what grace would give. Where in your marriage do you see yourself operating in a 'deserve' economy rather than a 'grace' economy?
a.What does a 'deserve' economy look like practically — what do you withhold, and when?
b.What would it look like to take one concrete step toward a 'grace' economy this week?