Forgiving What You Can't Forget by Lysa TerKeurst
Week 9: Chapter 8 — "The Part That's Not Just Up to Me"
Read Chapter 8 of Forgiving What You Can't Forget. Key Scripture: Romans 12:18; 1 Peter 5:7.
Previewing Week 9 of Forgiving What You Can't Forget
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 13-week guide when you’re ready.
Forgiveness is something we can choose unilaterally — but reconciliation requires two willing people, and this chapter helps us grieve honestly when the other person won't do their part.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Lysa makes the point that while forgiveness is always available to us regardless of what the other person does, there are things we cannot control: whether they repent, whether they change, whether the relationship is restored. How do you sit with the grief of that limitation?
2.Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." What does the phrase "as far as it depends on you" do to the guilt you might feel about a relationship that hasn't been restored? What parts of peace-making are yours — and what parts are not?
3.Lysa writes about the particular ache of forgiving someone who isn't sorry — who may never acknowledge the damage they caused. Have you been in that situation? What did it require of you to forgive anyway? What helped, and what made it harder?