For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
Week 3: Chapter 2 — The Performance of a Lifetime: Why Your Man Lives in the Shadow of the Idea That He Might Not Measure Up
Read Chapter 2 of For Women Only.
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Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 12-week guide when you’re ready.
Beneath the confident surface of many men lies a persistent, gnawing fear: that they don't have what it takes. Feldhahn's research reveals how deeply this fear shapes a man's inner life — and how much the women around him can either fuel or soothe it.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Feldhahn finds that the majority of men live with an underlying fear of being exposed as inadequate — in their careers, as providers, as husbands, as men. Did this surprise you, given how competent and put-together many men appear on the outside?
2.She describes men as living 'on the stage,' always performing, always aware that they might be evaluated and found lacking. Where do you think this fear comes from — is it cultural, built-in, or both?
3.The chapter suggests that a man's sense of security is often tied to his professional and financial success in a way that women's typically isn't. How does knowing this change how you think about a man's work stress, career anxieties, or response to failure?
a.How might this explain behaviors you've observed in a man in your life — such as overworking, withdrawal after failure, or defensiveness about his job?
b.What would it look like to offer genuine encouragement and confidence in a man who is struggling professionally?