For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
Week 6: Chapter 5 — Keeper of the Visual Rolodex: Why Your Man Wants to Pursue You
Read Chapter 5 of For Women Only.
Previewing Week 6 of For Women Only
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 12-week guide when you’re ready.
Building on the earlier chapter about men's visual nature, Feldhahn now explores something many women don't fully appreciate: a man's deep desire to pursue and to be wanted in return — and what happens in a marriage when that desire is ignored or denied.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Feldhahn reports that men in her surveys described feeling deeply lonely and unwanted when their wives consistently turned down sexual intimacy — not just frustrated, but *rejected* at the level of their identity. Did that language — rejection, loneliness — surprise you? Why or why not?
2.She distinguishes between a husband's sexual desire and a general desire for closeness and to feel chosen by his wife. How are these connected, and why does one so often communicate the other to a man?
3.Many women in relationships have seasons — of exhaustion, stress, or disconnection — where physical intimacy is genuinely the last thing on their minds. Feldhahn doesn't dismiss this reality. How does she invite women to hold both their own experience *and* their husband's need at the same time?
a.What gets in the way of physical intimacy in your own life or marriage most commonly?
b.Is there a step you could take to address that barrier this week?