For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
Week 9: Chapter 8 — Reading the Signals: Why Your Man Wants to Please You, But May Not Always Know How
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Feldhahn reveals something that many women will find both surprising and encouraging: most men genuinely *want* to make their wives or partners happy — they're just often completely lost when it comes to reading the signals women send.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Feldhahn presents survey data showing that the vast majority of men want to please their wives — that a wife's happiness is deeply important to a man's sense of success. Does that match your experience? Have you assumed the opposite?
2.She describes men as often being genuinely unable to decode the indirect cues and signals that women use to communicate frustration, needs, or hurt. Men in the surveys described feeling confused and sometimes helpless in the face of hints they didn't pick up on. Can you think of a time you communicated indirectly and were hurt that he 'didn't get it'? What might have been happening on his side?
3.Feldhahn makes a practical suggestion: women will get much further by communicating directly and specifically rather than relying on men to read between the lines. How does your personality, background, or culture make direct communication feel easy or difficult?
a.Is there a specific need or frustration you have been communicating indirectly that you could try to express more clearly this week?
b.What fear or belief makes direct communication hard for you?
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