For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
Week 5: Chapter 4 — The Longing to Be Her Hero: Why He Needs to Know You Believe in Him
Read Chapter 4 of For Women Only.
Previewing Week 5 of For Women Only
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 12-week guide when you’re ready.
Men are often described as independent and self-sufficient, but Feldhahn finds something surprisingly tender underneath — a man's deep longing to be his woman's hero, and the pain he feels when she doesn't seem to believe he can be.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Feldhahn describes how central it is to a man's sense of identity to feel like his partner's hero — to know she believes in him, depends on him in some way, and thinks he is capable of coming through for her. Does this align with what you've observed about the men in your life? Where have you seen this show up?
2.She describes the crippling effect that a woman's doubt — even her well-meaning 'help' and 'suggestions' — can have on a man's motivation and confidence. Can you think of a time when you stepped in to 'help' in a way that might have communicated a lack of faith in a man's ability to handle things?
3.Feldhahn notes that men in her surveys described the feeling of their wife not believing in them as deeply painful — more painful than most women realize. Why do you think women often underestimate the emotional weight of this for men?