One of the most radical things Niequist discovered is that she did not know how to be loved — she only knew how to earn it, and this chapter is about learning the difference.

Discussion Questions

6 questions

1.Niequist describes a breakthrough realization: she had built her life around earning love — from God, from her community, from herself — rather than receiving it. Does that resonate with you? How much of your sense of being loved feels contingent on your performance?

2.She distinguishes between being admired and being loved. Admiration can be won; love must be received. In your most important relationships, which dynamic is more dominant for you?

3.Niequist writes about the way her husband Aaron and her closest friends loved her in her worst moments — not despite the mess, but into it. Who in your life has loved you that way? What did it feel like to be loved without having earned it?

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