Wholeness is not the same as perfection — it is the integration of all the parts of yourself, the broken ones and the beautiful ones, into a life that is coherent and true.

Discussion Questions

6 questions

1.Niequist defines wholeness not as the absence of brokenness but as the integration of all parts of a person — the shadow side as well as the light. How does that definition differ from the way you normally think about becoming a better person?

2.She writes about having lived a fragmented life — different selves for different audiences, different faces for different rooms. Where in your life do you feel most fragmented? Where do you feel most whole?

3.What parts of yourself have you been most tempted to hide, disown, or manage rather than integrate? What would it mean to bring those parts into the light, even with one trusted person?

4.Niequist suggests that the journey toward wholeness requires giving up the exhausting project of self-improvement as self-construction — always trying to build a better self — and replacing it with a posture of honest self-acceptance. Does that feel like relief or like a threat to you?

5.Who is someone in your life who seems genuinely whole — not perfect, but integrated, honest, at peace with themselves? What do you notice about how they move through the world?

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