Try Softer by Aundi Kolber
Week 7: Chapter 6 — The Inner Critic and Self-Compassion
Read Chapter 6 of Try Softer by Aundi Kolber.
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Kolber turns her attention to the voice inside many of us that is relentlessly critical, harsh, and rarely satisfied — and she offers a Christ-rooted alternative. These questions may bring up significant emotion; be gentle with yourself and one another.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.How does Kolber describe the "inner critic"? Where does she say it typically comes from? Does her description match what you experience internally?
2.She makes an important distinction between self-compassion and self-indulgence or lowered standards. In her view, what is self-compassion actually? Why do so many people — especially Christians — resist it?
a.Have you ever been taught (explicitly or implicitly) that being hard on yourself is more godly than being compassionate toward yourself?
b.What would Jesus say about that teaching?
3.Kolber draws on Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion, which identifies three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Which of these three is hardest for you to practice? Why?
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