Try Softer by Aundi Kolber
Week 8: Chapter 7 — Boundaries as Belonging
Read Chapter 7 of Try Softer by Aundi Kolber.
Previewing Week 8 of Try Softer
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 11-week guide when you’re ready.
Kolber reframes boundaries not as walls that keep people out, but as the structures that make genuine love and connection possible. This chapter may challenge assumptions — and free you in ways you didn't expect.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.How does Kolber define healthy boundaries? How is her definition different from the way "boundaries" are sometimes talked about — as a way of protecting yourself from others or asserting your rights?
2.She argues that boundaries are actually a gift to our relationships — they allow us to show up more fully and honestly rather than disappearing into what others need from us. Do you agree? Can you think of a relationship where better boundaries actually created more genuine connection?
3.Kolber talks about the pattern of people-pleasing — agreeing, accommodating, and over-giving not out of love but out of fear. How do you distinguish between genuine generosity and people-pleasing in your own life?
a.What does people-pleasing feel like in your body? What emotions tend to accompany it?
b.What are you usually afraid will happen if you say no?