His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Week 3: Chapter 2 — Why Marriages Fail
Read Chapter 2 of His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Previewing Week 3 of His Needs, Her Needs
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 14-week guide when you’re ready.
Harley moves from the foundational metaphor to a frank diagnosis of how and why so many marriages — even sincere, well-intentioned ones — end up in crisis.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Harley identifies the core pattern of marital failure as spouses who stop meeting each other's most important emotional needs — not out of malice, but out of ignorance or complacency. Does that diagnosis feel accurate? Does it feel too lenient, or does it feel fair?
2.Harley notes that many couples go through the motions of marriage — sharing a home, raising children, maintaining routines — while becoming emotional strangers to each other. What conditions make it easiest for this drift to happen quietly and without either spouse fully noticing?
3.Harley argues that when a marriage fails to meet needs, it doesn't just become neutral — it becomes actively dangerous, because unmet needs will eventually find an outlet. Do you agree? What examples from life or observation support or challenge that claim?