His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Week 6: Chapter 5 — His Need #2: Recreational Companionship
Read Chapter 5 of His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Previewing Week 6 of His Needs, Her Needs
Read 3 of 7 discussion questions below. Unlock the complete 14-week guide when you’re ready.
It might seem surprising that "having fun together" rises to the level of a core marital need — but Harley makes a compelling case that recreational companionship is far more than leisure; it is the language of friendship between spouses.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Harley defines recreational companionship as the need to have a spouse who participates in — and genuinely enjoys — leisure activities with you. Why does he consider this a need rather than simply a preference?
2.Harley observes that during courtship, couples typically do many recreational activities together, and then — after marriage — those activities separate along individual lines. Why does that shift happen, and what does it cost the marriage?
3.Harley's research suggests that the person most likely to have an affair with a husband is someone who enjoys doing the same things he does. How does that finding land with you? Does it change how you think about the importance of shared hobbies or interests?
a.What recreational activities do you and your spouse currently share?
b.Are there activities your spouse loves that you have largely opted out of? What would it take to re-engage with those?