His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Week 5: Chapter 4 — Her Need #1: Affection
Read Chapter 4 of His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Previewing Week 5 of His Needs, Her Needs
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Just as Harley argues that sexual fulfillment is often the deepest need of a husband, he argues that affection — non-sexual affection — is often the deepest need of a wife, and that the gap between these two needs is one of the most common fault lines in marriage.
Discussion Questions
7 questions1.Harley defines affection as the expression of love through words, touches, and gestures that communicate care, security, and protection — apart from sexual intent. Why does he stress that affection must be non-sexual to truly fill this need for most wives?
2.Many husbands are genuinely confused about why their wives seem emotionally distant or unfulfilled, because the husbands believe they are being good providers and faithful partners. How does Harley's argument about affection explain that disconnect?
3.Harley describes common everyday acts of affection: a hug in the morning, a note of appreciation, saying "I love you" without any ulterior motive, holding hands, noticing her feelings. Do any of those feel natural to you? Which feel like a stretch?
a.If you are a husband, when did you last initiate affection with no expectation attached to it?
b.If you are a wife, what acts of affection from your husband make you feel most loved and secure?